Is your child a quitter?

If your child wanted to quit soccer, baseball, piano or the dance team, what would you do?  Over the years I have experienced many of my children's peers quit various activities and sports.  Losing a team member can affect the entire team.  When you are part of a team, other people rely on your skills and talent.  What about the commitment you made when you signed up for the activity or sport?

Not every child is going to love every activity or sport, they sign up for.  My children are no different.  When my children wanted to quit an activity, I required them to finish the season or the term for that particular activity.  As long as no one was harming them or they weren't being bullied, they were not allowed to just quit!

I know parents who allow their kids to quit an activity at the drop of a hat.  There is no regard for the other team members or the coach/teacher.  They don't give it a second thought.  God forbid that their children are not completely happy.  "She didn't like it", "I'm not going to make her do anything that she doesn't want to do".  What they are really saying is "I don't feel like fighting with her over this issue and its easier if I just let her quit".  Parenting is not easy, so stop trying to take the easy way out!

I read an article in Huffington Post about a woman whose son wanted to quit Hebrew school.  She admitted that she allowed him to quit Cub Scouts, baseball and soccer without giving it a second thought.  This mom was confused about what to do because her and her husband wanted him to have a Bar Mitzvah.  I think that the parents should have sat their son down and explained the importance of Hebrew school and its relation to the Bar Mitzvah.  That should be the end of the issue and he would be attending Hebrew school.  It does not last forever and its not going to kill him.

What's next?  Will parents take up homeschooling because their child does not want to attend school anymore?  I personally think that if you choose to enroll your child in Hebrew school, its no different than regular school.  You send your child to school to get an education.  Will you allow your child to stop taking a particular class in school because he/she thinks its too difficult?

How is your child going to function as an adult if he/she has no sense of commitment?  What about relationships?  Are parents setting their children up to remain single as adults because they don't have a sense of commitment?  Parents need to teach their children that quitting is not always an option.  Part of raising children involves teaching your children certain things that help build character.  What about teaching your child about commitment, responsibility, respect, endurance and sportsmanship?

We all have experiences that are unpleasant.  Some of us have jobs that we have to go to everyday, that we don't like.  We do what is necessary to get through the day.  If everyone quit their job because they didn't like it, there would be a lot of unemployed people.  You can't always just leave a situation because you don't like it.   There are always consequences to our actions and we should consider those consequences before acting.  So the next time your child wants to quit a team, consider the implications to his/her team members and the coach.



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  • Ouch, Tracy!

    Thanks for calling it like you see it, with sense and clarity, as always!

  • Julie, you know that parents are too soft on their kids, today. When I read your comment, I thought about something my daughter said to me when I decided to write my blog. She said if anyone gives you flack about a blog just comment with "The truth hurts"!

  • I sure do know! Sometimes I am. :) I'm not giving you flak, I'm just saying your words hit home today!

  • Julie, I'm sorry I gave you the impression that you were giving me flak. You made me think about my daughter's comment when you said "ouch". It's tough not to cave in to our cute little people.

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