I was watching the morning news on one of the local channels the other day when one of the anchors said the next segment would be on a new craze sweeping the country: Peep Jousting. Or as it is properly called – Peep Wars.
I groaned. This poor soul knew nothing of the long and sordid history of the Peep Wars. In fact, there were a few problems with the news anchor's introduction:
1. It's not new. We were doing this when I was in college a decade ago. You take two marshmallow Peeps and place them across from each other. You then stick a toothpick in the front part of each one so that both are looking at their impending doom. Finally, the fun part. You stick them in a microwave and turn it on. Whichever one gets stabbed first as the Peeps quickly expand in size is the loser. This is an age-old tradition. Like Festivus.
2. It should never be called Peep Jousting. That would imply a chance of survival. It is a Peep War. Both sides will be worse off after it is over. That's what we called it in college. That's what it should be called now. Furthermore, there can be no peace. Only a gooey marshmallow mess that can never be cleansed. Except by a damp cloth.
3. A few college students bored in a dorm sticking marshmallow products in a microwave is not a craze, Mr. TV news anchor. It's called a higher education.
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