Yesterday, we explored the wild and crazy world of snack food innovation when we tried the wonderful abomination that is Lay's Chicken & Waffles potato chips. Today, we'll delve even deeper into the tunnel of pre-meal insanity by looking at Pepsico's announcement of its newest item: Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos.
Yes, you read that right. Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos. On April 8, according to the Doritos Twitter feed, we'll be privy to a Dorito that's supposed to taste like taco meat placed in a Dorito shell. My brain is not only blown, it's also been wrapped and thrown out a drive-thru window. It's like somebody heard Jim Gaffigan's Hot Pockets bit, listened to the part about the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket – it's a Hot Pocket filled with a Hot Pocket; tastes just like a Hot Pocket – and thought, "Whoa! What an idea!"
I don't claim to be a Doritos Locos Tacos expert having never tried one for the simple reason that I'm scared of Taco Bell's meat products. Every time I look at Taco Bell meat, I think of the scene in Better Off Dead when the hamburger John Cusack is making becomes animated and begins to sing. It's not condusive to eating. But I just don't understand the reasoning behind the Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos. It would be like Nabisco unveiling an Oreo Milkshake-flavored Oreo. Actually, that would be delicious. Perhaps I'm just overthinking this.
No, no, I can't be. This is crazy, right? This makes Chicken & Waffles potato chips make somewhat sense, and nothing on this planet should be able to do that. I guess I'm just getting more and more confused by food that tastes like other food. If a Doritos Locos Taco was a hard item to acquire, maybe I could see the point. But it's not! Taco Bells are famous for being open at ALL hours. They have an entire marketing plan – Fourth Meal – devoted to people who give in to their inner junk food demons at midnight and slink up to a Taco Bell drive-thru. Why would you want chips that taste somewhat like something you can easily get?
I just don't get it. I'm going to go eat some flavored jellybeans until I can collect my thoughts. I wonder if I can find any Starburst-flavored ones? Those are my favorite.
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