Wait, how much does a new mattress cost? No, really?

Wait, how much does a new mattress cost? No, really?

My wife has been wanting a new mattress since – oh – just about around the time we got home from our honeymoon three and a half years ago. But as someone who hates replacing things unless they are completely broken and unusable – I drove my last two vehicles until they became scrap – I've been the resistant one in the relationship.

However, our mattress is at the point where I'm starting to side with my wife. Lying in our bed is somewhat like sleeping in the La Brea Tar Pits. You just keep sinking further and further in until one day – poof! – you're gasoline. And while this is fun and all, it is not good for my back, which seems to increase in age at double the rate of the rest of me.

So, the other day, I mentioned to my wife that maybe I wasn't as against getting a new mattress as I had been.

She was off to the races.

This is an actual email from my wife I received shortly after:

This is the middle of three beds from the "classic" (cheapest) line. Beds in the "performance" series start at $2,000, though through 7/21 you can get $500 off the $2,500 one. http://www.sleepnumber.com/eng/products/sleep-number-beds/classic-series/c3/new_sleep_number_c3_bed?c3

(Cough, cough). $2,500 for a mattress? Will it also make me breakfast? And not just cereal, either. Our current mattress could handle that.

But, as I'm sure a salesperson would point out, you can't put a price on comfort. (Who immediately after saying that will put a price on comfort. Somewhere in the $2,000 to $2,500 range if I want a "performance" series mattress, which I assume means it takes steroids and thus has developed more muscle mass and is firmer.)

Knowing that one spends about 1/3 of their life in a bed, though, I suppose it makes sense to go all out, even if you aren't aware of your surroundings during that third. And if that much money means I'll sleep better and my back won't complain so much during basketball, well then I guess I'm on board.

As for the old mattress, if anyone has has a wooly mammoth they want to preserve, I might have just the thing for you.

• Going for Gusto is a blog by Joe Grace that looks for the awesome in life. Please support Going for Gusto by liking the Facebook page at Facebook.com/GoingForGusto.

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