Are we as husbands doing our jobs?

One of the things on my “Things I take seriously list” is being a good husband. After seeing my first marriage fail, I knew that if I ever got married again, I would take my job as a husband much more seriously. When I met Amy, I was just starting my walk with Christ. Over time, I learned that God really gave us all the tools to be good husbands and all we really needed to do was apply them.

Now, that is the part where we need to actually do some work. God really did spell it all out for us in what our roles are and what we really need to do to step up. I know that one of Amy’s greatest joy comes from making a happy home for me and our kids.

Proverbs 31:10-12 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life.

In Proverbs we also find such statements as "he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord" Proverbs 18:22. We should not forget to give thanks to God for the blessing of a great wife. I am so thankful that I have that blessing and I am so fortunate that I see the mutual love from her come back to me.

It would be great if our happy home was completely dependent on what our wives did but it truly is not that simple nor should it be.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

My heart hurts when I see men and women exploiting their life partners on Facebook or bad mouthing them to others. Throwing your partner under the bus is far from what God intended our marriage to be about. It is unbecoming and certainly not Christ-like to downgrade the opposite sex in story telling and off-color jokes. We are all God's creation. Each of us with a specific purpose and work that God has called us to do.

That is what I want to talk about now. What is God’s purpose for me? My biggest role is not cancer survivor, though that is important because I believe that is a gift God has given me. My role is not a runner though it’s something that is important to me. I could list all the different roles and titles I have but my biggest role is a follower of Christ. Being a follower of Christ means that in my home I am the spiritual leader and being a good husband is at the top of the list.

Here are some things husbands need to work on. I am including myself in this list. Guys, let’s challenge each other to do these things. I guarantee there is not a wife around who would not react with a smile if we step up to do these things. Ladies, am I wrong here?

Treat your wife as an equal.

Selfishness is a marriage killer. Tell your wife how important and valuable she is to you. Watch for the loving smile on her face when you do. A wise husband trusts his wife's judgments and realizes how fortunate he is to have her.

Tell your wife how you feel about her and continue to date her.

Although you may deeply appreciate your wife, it can mean so much to her if you will take the time to let her know it. Tell her how you feel and show her in a thousand little ways. Married people owe each other more than just a home, food and clothing. Your time, your attention and your interests are also extremely important in maintaining a happy relationship. When was the last time you went on a date? If money is an issue how about just a walk? Why not set aside a night each week for just the two of you to be together, away from family, friends and responsibilities. Even if it’s just for an hour or 2, it will be worth it, trust me.

Put away the cell phone, ipad, laptop, tv remote, whatever.

Ok, I am an iphone addict and I struggle with this one too. I know even the mere mention of me putting the phone away for the night, gets my wife’s ears perked up so I know this is something that I need to work on. I know I am not alone here so guys, whatever it is that takes your attention away from your spouse, put it away at certain times to give your wife your undivided attention.


I will commit to writing about what I plan to do to strengthen my marriage and be the spiritual leader in my home but first, I am interested in your feedback. What are some things that you would like to see your spouse do to strengthen your marriage?



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