Paul Sullivan, on Bryan LaHair:
"I think everyone in the clubhouse knows this isn't the easiest place to hit
home runs this time of the season," LaHair said. "We all accept that. For me,
I'm just trying to hit low line drives, ground balls through the hole, going to
the gap... You try to hit balls out of here, and you can hit one 500-feet and
they blow back in, so what good is that.
"Our goal is to get on base, try and hit low line drives, hit them in the
gaps and those kind of things."
NOOO! What kind of intellectual bull-larkey is this? Don't tell me...a ballplayer with an actual working brain? I mean, LaHair sounds like a fackin' blogger! He's been in Iowa the last six years, what the hell does he know about Chicaguh, huh?
Not trying to drive a ball through the wind? That's crazy talk! Next thing you know, he's gonna be spouting off about taking pitches out of the strike zone, then what's after that? Hitting cutoff men? Fackin' chaos, I tells ya! Cats and dogs, hissing and barking at one another. Kardashians chasing after rich guys, A-Rod pretending to like blond chicks with biceps, I'm just so goddamned confused, one of the Cubs players ACTUALLY MAKING SENSE about the playing conditions.
Where the hell did Theo find this guy? MIT? Get LaHair a Nobel Pulizter Prize already. Are you listening, Soriano?
Nahhh, didn't think so. No, no. Don't wake up, Alf. Go back to sleep. It's nothing.