I call bullshit on Josh Hamilton

I can't stand it: this has to be said.

Three years ago, a bunch of pictures on Deadspin surfaced about America's Newest Baseball Sweetheart, redemption boy Josh Hamilton, drunk off his ass in some chintzy bar, licking whipped cream off of floozies'breasts. We all knew about his prodigious habits, crack, coke, booze, sluts, God knows what I'm missing here.  So it was all just a matter of wait-and-see before the ubitiquous divorce filing from his wife.

Ohhhh, no.  What followed was as nauseating and sickening of a shifting of blame that I have ever seen.  But ol' Josh wasn't blaming anyone else, no.  He wasn't taking the blame, either.  It was the Demons, and his Demons took hold of him, and he was powerless!  And then he ran with the powerless theme and stripped out everything from Bill W's book, stating that since he was 'saved', that he always wondered if he could take a drink.  And, lo, it was obvious he couldn't!  So, he literally swore on a stack o' bibles, that he would never drink again, that he now knew how badly he had hurt his team, his fans, his wife, his family, his ol' dead Gramma.  On and on it went, until finally, America was tired of seeing Josh Hamilton whip himself and we said, ok, now you know, I guess.  Make sure you don't do it again.

Well, whoops, he did it again.  This time alledgedly, there are pictures and videos of (I assume) different floozies grabbing his ass as he drunkenly lurches around another seedy club.  ITS A RELAPSE!  Oh noeS!  So SAD!  Poor sad Josh and his Demons, so good for almost three years!  And he has so many troubles!  His team has lost the last two World Series, and he tossed a ball to a guy who fell out of the stands, broke his head and died!  And he doesn't have his Life Coach anymore, because he took a real paying job with another team.

First of all, what kind of simpy dipshit has to have a 24x7 "life coach"?  Yep, this is the result, people, of not keeping score of little league games, giving all the kids "participant" ribbons when all they did was chase butterflies and pulled on their weens, and never telling them no.  A weak willed, soft society where nobody is EVER responsible for their own actions.

And now, wanna know what I really think?  This is NO relapse.  He hasn't had a drink in three years?  This is the first time he's been out?  Bull shi-i-i-i-t.  Maybe it's the first time he's been CAUGHT! 

See, here's the scam: Josh Hamilton is probably out more often than not, licking and being licked.  Most often the witnesses are either paid off, rubbed out, or are too pissed themselves to put together a multi-media presentation of Mr. Hamilton's doucheyness.  But when word gets out, well, cry out...IT'S A RELAPSE!  Oh Lord, I am so WEAK!  Please Lord, and my team, and my fans, and my wife and family, forgive me, for I know not how it happens, or why, or when, it can never be convenient enough for me to know, so I could sack up and RESIST such Temptation!  (By the way, for full disclosure, I myself have been diagnosed as an "addictive personality", most of the male members of my family are diagnosed alcoholics and/or "sex addicts", and the truth about it being a 'choice' or a 'disease' lies somewhere in the middle.  Strong people do not waver.  Weak people do.)

Fool us once, Josh Hamilton, shame on you.  Fool us twice, you're an asshole!  Go sell sorry someplace else, fuckstick!

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  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

  • what, Zoner? Did I hurt your widdle feelings? I am so goddamn sick of people, including athletes, shitting themselves all over the place, then making up excuses, shifting blame and invoking God and Christ as if it will make things any better. This guy is a piece of shit, always has been, always will be.

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    In reply to Rob Letterly:

    Who better to condemn the self-destructive behavior of another than a self-righteous, bulbous lard sack, right Rob? I mean you've got to be fucking kidding me! Strong people do not waver? Take a look in the mirror, man. You practically sweat grease. You're a hypocrite of the worst kind. Let's be serious, you're an undisciplined, fat tub of shit who has lived a life far removed from any kind of discipline, inner-strength, integrity and meaningful sacrifice. You've never had the discipline, in your whole life, to restrain your apetites for anything. You're a self-admitted glutton for sluts and salacious thoughts and living. Jerking off is something you lonely guys do every once in awhile, but you're not supposed to make a fucking lifestyle out of it. Self-diagnosing yourself with an "addictive behavior" is just a pathetic excuse and means to continue getting away with other forms of self-indulgent gluttony. That only makes you an even bigger scumbag! I'm going to stop here before I have to take a fucking shower! Consider this reply your first lesson in life coaching, simpy dipshit!

  • Rob,
    I've often disagreed with your posts here, but have always enjoyed reading them because A) I feel like you're an intelligent baseball fan and B) Your against-the-grain style has always risen the quality of debate on the site. And for this I thank you.

    That being said, this post is one of the most idiotic, ignorant, and misinformed rants I've ever seen. It fails to show even the slightest knowledge or understanding of alcoholism and may possibly be the dumbest interpretation of the disease I've ever seen. Please understand, that this whole "alcoholism is a disease" stance is not an opinion. It's medical fact, and a very widely-known one at that.

    Seriously, your reaction to this topic makes me worry about your mental health. If you're not already, please seek some sort of mental counseling or psychological evaluation, because you are a sick, sick man.

    That post is an absolute embarrassment. Please, seek help for yourself.

  • Ben, Billy...

    You both better be fucking sure you know what you are dealing with here, my friends.

    I haven't self diagnosed myself, you fucking pricks. I have been through more therapy and been prescribed more medicine than a whole room of Lohans. I know what it means to be an alcoholic, you assholes.

    I choose to refrain from drinking, because I know what harm it causes, and because I am not some weak, selfish prick like Josh Hamilton, I don't have to ask my wife every few years for her forgiveness.

    Now I have the distinct pleasure of banning your dumb asses. Have fun sucking your thumbs the rest of your lifes. Give my country to China, because you were too weak to do anything about it. Fuck you until your eyes fall out.

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    In reply to Rob Letterly:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It all makes perfect sense now!!! Have you looked in the mirror lately? Maybe you have, that would explain the anger you have. I would be pissed at the world also if I was stuck being you for the rest of my life!!!!

    Mr. Rob, spent his life wishing he were one of the cool kids, taking his high school angst out on those who the world love, praying he will win the lottery so he can have millions of dollars worth of plastic surgery. If I were you, I would kill myself, but more so I would keep drinking so I had a bit of self esteem. Do you think you are cool by stating how much therapy you have had? Do you feel special admitting you are a dry drunk?

    Hamilton isn't a selfish prick, you are. The reason you don't have to ask your wife for forgiveness every few years is because no one in their right mind will marry you! HAHAHA!! Anyone who proudly admits how much therapy and head meds they have had needs a shit load more! You are the type of person we will see on the news for murdering tons of people, but not having the balls to take themselves out after!

    Enjoy your sad miserable life trying to drag down those with purpose. Check online again, maybe someone will agree to being your mail order bride, however I very much doubt it. No way you could pay someone enough to be with you, yuck! I wish I cared enough to see your childish response to this you country hating piece of filth! Please continue writing your thoughts as if any one cared what you think.

    You should attend a different rehab, maybe the 15th time is your charm. As of now you are nothing more then a bitter, sad, dry drunk. Maybe wet brain would explain your actions....nah your the type that goes to mcdonalds 5 of the 7 days each week and eats your feelings....maybe you should stop feeling.

    Ahh people like you are too easy. Keep on blaming the world for your miserable life...that will get you somewhere eventually you aa fuck!! LOSER!!!!!!!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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    I suppose as long as Josh is a star losers that never amounted to anything will spend their lives trying to bring him down. As an addict I am quite amazed that with everything he has gone through, as well as goes through each year, he still has only had a few relapses. A man in his position with the media constantly down his throat would have more than enough reasons to say fuck it and use again, still he doesn't.

    It is rather interesting that in such a fucked up world this is what keeps you guys up at night. You waste your time trying to tear down someone who will never know or care of your existence. Josh is a very strong individual, and a hero for many, so why isn't that enough? Any addict will tell you that 'can I have a drink like a normal person' has gone through their heads millions of times, and many still try and fail.

    Josh always takes the blame, and admits to his failures. He tells his wife everything as soon as it happens, and if she decides to take him back or not is her decision and not for anyone else to decide or comment on. He is an amazing father, husband and follower. Perhaps those who think otherwise should keep their thoughts to themselves.

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