The bitter moms who steal Father's Day....

The bitter moms who steal Father's Day....

Here we are in the month of June, where there's a special day to honor the male parent in our lives who who often receive a lot less credit, and way more bashing than us moms. Now, of course there are a few guys who don't deserve the title of being a dad simply because they gave a woman a few minutes of their time while in the heat of a moment. To that point, there are also some women who aren't worthy of the "mommy" title, even some whose children actually live with them.

The main difference, is that moms are celebrated differently. Whether they're a bad mom, decent mom, good mom or great mom, Mother's Day is just a much bigger deal than Father's Day has ever been, and possibly more than it ever will be. What''s even more interesting (based on limited research) is that, Mother's Day was proclaimed to be a national holiday in about 1905, whereas Father's Day wasn't recognized as such until somewhere arond 1972 (after more than 60 years of being proposed.)

Still to this day, millions of dollars are spent on Mother's Day. Restaurants, spas and other venues are packed with several generations of family members celebrating the most important people in their lives. On Father's Day, a few people decide to go out, or BBQ, or do something, but not nearly as much as Mother's Day. It's not because more women are good mothers than men are good fathers, it's just because fathers are often seen as "second class parents." Many children, especially those raised in single parent homes, tend to favor the parent they reside with, often the mother in most cases. Fathers are often limited to weekend visits, and of course calls whenever the child wants or needs something.  Some of this may be their own fault of course, but not always.What's even worse, is that many women tend to use children as pawns out of resentment or even hatred toward the father. They treat children as nothing more than a bargaining chip as a way of paying the father back, but for what. For impregnating them in the first place? For giving them the child who the swear up and down is their blessing? I don't know too many people who are permanently scorned from a blessing, but to each her own.

I always found it ironic that many men are ridiculed for impregnating women who they have no intention of marrying or having any type of future with. Yet, women who allow themselves to be impregnated (or don't take the precautions to prevent it) with these same men who they know good and well aren't looking for anything from them but a fling, and are considered victims.

Now I know that there are many men out here who are truly trifling and don't deserve credit for parenting on any day of the year, but that doesn't mean we should spend Father's Day bashing them. It's supposed to be a day to celebrate the true fathers and father figures in the world. As a woman who has a great father, who at one point had no idea where his children were, I am quite sensitive to the bashing of fathers, unless they truly deserve it. Even still, Father's Day isn't the day for that.

I'm not in any way taking credit away from single parents, moms and dads alike. This parenting stuff isn't easy and I truly tip my hat to any person who has the strength and willingness to do it all alone. I just wish that Father's Day could be more about celebrating the many men out here who would go to the end of earth for their children, biological or not. So many good men are out here not only raising their children, but children who other men left behind either by choice, circumstance or death. Those men are the ones who deserve to be celebrated.

I'm proud to say that Go-2-Daddy is an amazing father. He's the one who gets Go-2-baby up and dressed each day while I'm at work. His career is more flexible than mine, so he's able to drop her off and pick her up each day. They have special rituals that only they understand, I love the way she admires him and stands up for him even at the young age of two. I couldn't imagine being that woman who would bash him or try to hurt him by keeping her away from him. In the end, I know I'd be hurting my child the most. This Father's Day, lets try to give a little more props to the good dads out here. They truly deserve it more than the guys who are ultimately missing out on the greatest part of life for the people they helped to create.

Ladies, we had our day in May, let's let the guys have this one. If you're a single mom, I'm sure your children appreciate you for going above and beyond to compensate for what their father may not be doing for whatever reason. Of course I know many of you will continue to celebrate Father's Day as you please, and with the help of Hallmark, there's now even a few "Father's Day for Mom" cards on the market that I'm sure many people will be buying.  I just hope that there can be less focus on bashing the no good men, and more on celebrating the many great fathers out here.

 

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  • Actually, I used to give my mom Father's Day cards occasionally because my dad wasn't such a good dad, but my mom was a great substitute.

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    In reply to Kevin O’Neil:

    Hi Kevin, thanks so much for reading. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a child acknowledging his/her parent for their efforts. I was mainly referring to the women who make it about themselves and spend time bashing men on Father's Day.

  • Comparing Father's Day to Mother's Day is like comparing apples to oranges. Where I come from (UK) we celebrate Mother's Day in March and it is a date (4th Sunday in Lent) in the Christian calender. The original term "Mothering Sunday" was far more than celebrating mothers. It was traditionally the Mother Church which was celebrated, and Mother's Day in May holds its roots in the Christian Mothering Sunday tradition. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothering_Sunday. Father's Day, on the other hand, is just another commercial "Hallmark Day".
    As regards 'bitter moms who steal Fathers Day', yes, I guess i am guilty as charged. I am a single mum pulling double duty and my poor kids are the ones to suffer when their dad does even bother to visit them on Father's Day.

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    In reply to Brigitte:

    Hi Brigitte, thanks so much for reading. Unfortunately, most holidays lose the original meaning and become commercial. Even still, for the reasons we celebrate Mother's Day, I feel Father's Day is just as significant. Also, I only consider moms bitter who only focus on the negative on Father's Day. I truly hope your children's father turns around and realizes that they deserve better!

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    As a single parent of a child who has never had a father in his life I feel I deserve recognition on father's day as much as any man. On mother's day I wish single dad's happy mother's day too. Single parents pull double duty and we do not really get any recognition so why not celebrate both holidays? I get the same present from my son regardless of mothers or fathers day, a hug, and that is all I ask for.

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    In reply to Valarie Clement:

    Sorry but no you don't. U are a mother not a father. Father's Day are for men that are Fathers.. Mother's Day are for women that are Mothers. Would you like it if Men celebrated Men's Day on Women's Day at church? NO. So stop it. Its Fathers Day. Stop trying to take the day away from fathers.

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    I think the Father's Day Card for Moms should be burn. All of them. It is disrespectful to men that are fathers. I mean my goodness its bad enough that Father's Day gets the backburn. But they wanna make cards for mothers on Father's Day? That is DUMB AS ......... This the lack of maturity we have in today's society now. I don't care if you are a single parent. U are not BOTH FATHER AND MOTHER. U are a parent. U either a mother or a father. If u got 2 sex organs and u had a baby on ur own like that. Thats your business. I'm so sick and tried of this non sense. And ppl wonder why men die early mainly because of stress... and lack of happiness. My goodness men do everything for women and kids and the day a man suppose to get respect we don't get it. And yet get man when a man leaves. Why? You don't appreciate when u got him but u wanna bash them when they leave. People need to think WOMEN and men. I love my daddy. I feel sorry for others who dont have a father but that doesn't mean u take Father's Day and give it to some single mothers. PLEASE PPL Stop doing that DUMB STUFF

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    Thank you for this article! In general, if you picked a loser and became pregnant by him, and now how to pull double duty, why do you get "extra credit" and two holidays. Taking care of your children, no matter what the circumstances, isn't that what your suppose to do, especially if your the awesome mom you say you are. Mom's our day is in May. Dad's, enjoy YOUR day in June.

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