I've heard a lot of chatter over the last few weeks regarding the relationship between mother and daughter. Some say you should want to be your daughters best friend in order to assure the best possible relationship. Others say you should be mommy and only that until your child reaches adulthood. Are some women taking this best friend too far and forgetting to be parents? I know a lot of little girls who admire their mothers and are pretty much the spitting image of them, attitude wise at least. My favorite celeb mommy daughter duo are Willow and Jada. They seem like they have a solid relationship, although some people question the level of freedom Jada gives Willow. The little girl is a free spirit, she has her own style and she knows who she wants to be, I don't see anything wrong with that. Plus, I believe the Smith family has a little more leeway when it comes to allowing their children to express themselves. Lets face it, Willow may never have to prove her self to the world as many of our non-celeb little girls will have to.
Last week there was a visual of what resembled a four strip comic that surfaced the net... if that's the proper way to label it. Anyhow, the four images included a mother and daughter at different life stages. The first stage was the typical baby says bad word and mommy laughs, that was followed by what appeared to be a toddler shaking her groove thang while holding on to a boom box. The mother of course was cheering her on, the third scene was with a mom and her tween-teen aged daughter. It obviously showed the mother presenting what appears to be a mini skirt as a gift for her daughter. Now of course the first two scenes were somewhat innocent in my opinion, maybe even the third. Well that is until you look at the fourth and final illustration of a pregnant teen wearing a sad expression on her face and a tearful mother wondering where she went wrong.
This image was shared by several of my friends on Facebook as well as a few people on Instagram from what I've seen. Many people were going on and on about how true the photo is. So it brings me to this question.
Are we really leading our little girls astray? Should mommy and daughter really be BFF's from birth? The cute little outfits, nail polish, lip gloss and even sassy attitudes of the little girls today seem sweet and innocent now, but will they later attribute to teen pregnancy, disobedience and overall failure in life? In my opinion, not necessarily. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with some of the things I see women allowing their young girls (under 10 usually) to wear, say or do. But I don't by any means feel that this will guarantee that these little girls won't grow up to be commendable women.
I also saw that a lot of the comments were taking a shot at young mothers ,typically suggesting that they are the main offenders of raising the next generation of misguided young women. I don't consider myself to be a young mother by any means, considering the fact that I gave birth to my first child at the age of 27, but that doesn't mean I can't defend the good young moms I know. It's true that the mentality of some mothers today may truly become the downfall of their daughters and possibly their sons ,but I don't think its a determining factor.
A few women I know are the product of young mothers who may have allowed them to wear and do some questionable things as children and they have grown to be outstanding women who did not get pregnant as teens, have completed college, lead successful lives and have become great mothers themselves. Now I also know other women who were raised by strict mothers who ended up being led astray and have not had the same successes or fortunes of those who weren't held on a tight leash by their mothers.
I don't think we should be so quick to judge a little girls future by her relationship with her mother or what she wears or does as a child. I think it has a lot to do with the people around her, namely her mother's ability to lead by positive example and by the presence of other female influences. I think that we often get caught up on superficial aspects of life rather than focusing on true values. So what do my readers think, shall we allow our daughters to be our BFF's from birth, or shall we stick to parenting and let them meet friends at school?