Cher had 17 bathrooms and why I care

The Wall Street Journal reports that Cher’s old house is on the market again.

It has 11 bedrooms and 17 bathrooms. Plus it has a four-bedroom guesthouse, which, I assume, has at least two bathrooms, maybe more. Maybe more than four if her ratios hold steady.

Cher lived there in the eighties and sold it to Eddie Murphy in 1988. The current owner is the wife of deceased real-estate developer Raul Walters.

The widow is asking $69 million. This is a steal, seeing she previously listed it at $85 million.

The house is in the Beverly Hills Post Office area according to WSJ. Think how much you’ll save in gas money when picking up a few stamps.

Why Cher’s 17 bathrooms are important

They are important because we can deduce that Cher has a heck of a lot of friends. Far more friends than me. She has so many friends that when they come over, 17 may have to pee at the same time. Are even more waiting outside the door, crossing their legs?

I don’t long for such a house. I can’t see having such a large party in my own home. I’d rather rent a party room and leave my most recent laundry on the bedroom floor. I don’t want all those people going through my medicine cabinets and wastepaper baskets.

What would I do with so many bathrooms? Store a deodorant and makeup remover in each? Walk from bathroom to bathroom every Sunday to flush and prevent rust buildup? Experiment with décor by choosing a different color for every single one?

Cher’s bathrooms are proof that the rich are not like you and me. Or at least, not like me.

I don’t have enough friends to justify 17 bathrooms.

Perhaps bathrooms are how people measured their popularity before Facebook.

I don’t have all that many Facebook friends (and I don’t have all that many bathrooms. Just 1.5 and I share with my husband.)

My Facebook connections grew topsy-turvy over the years. I started to accept “friends” back when one-person businesses and such used Facebook personal connections as undercover business relationships. Now I only accept new friends when I know who they are and enough about their personal lives that their posts make sense. My list of friends could use substantial refinement in terms of both weeding out nonfriends and adding actual friends (or at least acquaintances).

I suppose I could have a lot of friends. People I have never heard of try to “friend” me and I don’t respond.

I could comfort myself with the thought that I could have more Facebook friends if I’d only put in a little effort.

And maybe the wealthy comfort themselves with the thought that they must have lots of friends if they need 17 bathrooms.

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