During personal change and transformation, it is appropriate to lose the self you have always known. Significant passages in your life are your soul's prompting to remember more of your gifts, or show up as a more integrated self in the world.
This requires mourning the loss of who you have always known yourself to be.
From Intuitively Reading thousands of people who are undergoing significant change, I have come to understand that losing your sense of self is less important than practicing and maintaining the trust that you have a unique connection with truth and wisdom, or Spirit, that is always within you.
Spirit happens to know our totality - the us we are growing into and the us with whom we happen to identify now. Therefore, it is critical that we practice staying in touch with Spirit through our own unique "portal to the Divine".
I call that unique portal your "Intuitive Intelligence" - whether you practice through quiet listening, staring at beauty, walking in a peaceful place, or tasting the nuanced flavors in your food. Befriending that portal to your truth and wisdom serves you when you go through significant change. The practice reminds you that there is a larger, blessed container that guarantees your safety in a process that does not feel at all safe.
And when you cannot find your portal or truth....try the mantra I use when I feel angry with myself and others, or when I can't find my way out - even to be grateful for the obvious blessings I have:
"I insist that this mess will make me stronger in love! I insist!!!"
I repeat that over and over until I believe it is so. And from there, the truth within me gains more authority than my emotions, and I find I can listen in once again.