One of my clients, Sandi, said her four year old daughter, Ariella, told her she remembers how nice Sandi was to her when she was dying. She described a scene in detail. Sandi was shocked as she accurately described Sandi's experience of her grandmother's death. Ariella seemed to talk with lots of invisible friends. Other clients have children who clearly see and describe or name those who have passed. What's a"normal" mother to do?
Here are the most important qualities from which to approach your children and their stories:
1. Come from a place of curiosity not judgment - create a safe space for letting them give you more information by smiling and nodding as if they are talking about what happened at preschool.
2. Ask gentle questions - "what did it feel like?" or "how do you feel when you see/sense that?" or "what was your (invisible) friend doing/saying?" You are not fishing for details here, you are helping the child to release any fear, and you are validating them
3. If they say they feel afraid, let them know that God/Spirit/Angels or whoever you worship is more powerful than anything and will protect them from harm, Then pray with them or help them visualize a bubble of love and protection around them
4. Let them know that they are powerful and can send love to anything or anyone that scares them. Let them know when people are mean, ugly, fierce or scary, those people are probably scared and sad inside. When we pray for them, they may behave in a kinder way. This is as true for the living as it is for the deceased.
Always trust your intuition about what is best for your child...that voice comes from your heart not your head, and it is clear and familiar. If you can't access that voice, ask to hear it, then be attentive without anxiety for a few days. Usually by the third day, you will feel clear about what is best.