Dirty texting can wait!

People think they can text anything they want.  And I am talking ANYTHING!

I am guilty of this. I have been mad and texted someone something that I regretted a few hours down the road.  Or texted my undying love for someone only to be silenced by their lack of responsiveness.  There is nothing worse than the chirping sound of crickets for hours or days after a pour your heart out text.  Ouch!

It's one thing to text someone you know something that might not be totally appropriate, but now we have come to the day and age of complete strangers texting something totally totally bonkers.  Or just totally totally gross.

The texting game has given people such ... um.. balls!

I gave my number out the other day to a man that I was flirting with as I was getting into my minivan.  I had just finished my lunch, said goodbye to my date and as my date drove by and waved (yes we drove separate because it was a first date and you never know when you might need a getaway car) this other gentleman (perhaps I shouldn't use that word)  pulled up to me.. we started talking and I gave him my number.  Okay, I know this sounds sorta slutty, but he had a nice car, was clean and I had 2 beers and fried deviled eggs (which by the way are delicious!!)  rumbling around in my head.  So yes, it seemed like a good idea.  I seem to have so many of those!  Besides, if I didn't get myself into these situations, what on earth would I blog about?

Anyway, so he insisted I take his number.  So I did.   And I texted him.  Big, Huge mistake.  For the next hour I was pretty much harassed via my cheap Walmart cell phone.

Let me share some of his first few texts... maybe they are totally appropriate and I am just being a prude.

"Hi Sexxi....if you want me to babysit til the buzz wears off I am happy to do so."

"Hottie like you should not be leaving the bar alone and especially buzzed what a waste of a great opportunity."

"I would have definitely offered a relaxing full body massage using organic coconut oil to nurture your skin".

"Can I put your to sleep with my very sensual techniques?"

"Would that not be so damn hot to have a sexy stranger show up lick you until you explode and then off to  sleep you go and I leave".

Okay.  So what planet is this guy from?  Do men think that this would work with any woman?  I don't even think I would be tempted if it was Robert Downy Jr. texting me these things.  (Okay, that could be a lie....)

I can't believe a complete stranger would text these things to someone in broad daylight that they had  just met.  Do I look like a walking craigslist hooker ad?

It's my own fault.  I always tell my kids don't talk to strangers.  Why I don't take my own advice I am not sure.

Has texting ruined any kind of appropriate dating behavior?  Are there men just driving around looking for women to talk to and get their number from so they can get their rocks off with the dirty one way texting?  I say one way... because I did not even respond to a single text he sent.

Today I recieved 4 texts from him.. they were quite different from yesterday's.  I will share.



"Hi Vicki"

"Don't be shy".

I have no intention of ever texting him back.
So men.. and I guess I can't be one sided here.. women too...   if you are not getting responses back on your first few texts to someone.. maybe they are a little inappropriate.  There is no reason you can't wait until you have had a somewhat normal conversation via text to bring out the real you.  I'm just saying.   Good things come to those who wait you eager little beavers!!

Be careful out there.....   guard your cellphone numbers!

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  • What if one of his friends commandeered his cell phone for a few hours and then deleted the messages?

  • So what happened with your date that day ?

  • i dont think that really happened Icarus! :)

  • and Coach Bob.... I had a hotdog hamburger and haven't seen him since..

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