"Can you keep a secret?"
Well I have a blog, and a big mouth, so no, but I know you are going to tell me anyway because for some reason EVERYONE always feels the need to tell me their deepest darkest secrets. I am not sure why I have this curse. Sure I have the juiciest gossip, but to be honest, I am getting tired of having to keep all these stories to myself.
And why does it always end with "you are the ONLY one who knows so don't tell anybody". Are you fucking serious? So I am the ONLY one on the face of the earth who knows this stuff? I feel like I am a dumping ground for scandalous stories. Why do all of you think I can handle it? What is it about me that screams "tell her this shit, she won't freak and her mouth won't gape open wide or her eyes won't bulge out".
Well, let me tell you. They do. Maybe not outwardly, but inwardly I am like "are you serious you dumb slut?" First of all why would you do that, and secondly why would you ADMIT to it?
Sure I am flattered and honored to be the chosen one that so many turn to. I am like the priest in his little box except I know exactly who you are and you know exactly who I am and I am not the go between for you and GOD.
I asked someone the other day why they felt they could tell me things. What it was about me that they felt they could trust. She answered, because you don't act your age. HUH? I am not sure if you think telling me your craziness will get me to tell you mine. Okay, usually it does. Like I said, I have a big mouth.
An ex friend of mine, okay, we slept together for over a year and I was madly in love with him, called me the other day. He wanted to meet up with me. He is supposed to be living with a new girl and having a relationship with her. He told me it wasn't going good with her and he needed to see me in person to talk to me. I knew that this was just going to get me into trouble with myself and I had come so far in my fight against the ending of this relationship, so I told him no. And I also facebooked his new girlfriend informing her that he tried to meet up with me. She was shocked. He was caught. He told me he was tired of my meddling BS. I was too much in his business. Seriously? If you want to meet up with me, and you know you can't keep your hands off of me, shouldn't your new squeeze know and isn't it MY business too if it involves me? Oh, he forgot to tell me it was a secret and nobody else on the earth knows about it except me.
See, if he had TOLD me that, I would have kept his secret. Gotta always remember to add the "you are the only one who knows so don't tell anybody".
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