What the hell is going on? When did all these men out there decide they loved shoes and all had to have a foot fetish? I swear to GOD everyone I am meeting wants to frickin see my feet, buy me shoes, feel my feet and talk about my shoes.
Now not only do I have to take care of my face and moisturize the shit out of that... I also have to slough my feet. And wear thick socks with vaseline caked into them on nights that I am alone so that when I am not alone I don't cut some poor guys lip. Ew. No offense.
Don't I have enough upkeep? I have to shave, deep condition my hair, buff my butt, polish my frickin half bitten nails and now I have to worry about my poor feet. Thankfully mine are not a mangled mess because I haven't worn heels for the past 15 years like some of you poor girls. I rarely wear them in the day and mostly on nights when I want to prove that I can look good and walk on stilts after a few cocktails. I feel sorry for so many of you that have corns, callouses and bunions! Ew. No offense.
I just can't believe that people are so into feet. And they actually make a medicine to take care of your big toe fungus. Of course the medicine can cause liver or kidney disease but at least your big toe will be suckable.
My 80 year old mother is even worried about the way her feet look. She went to the doctor and was told to rub vaseline on her big toenail for 2 years to make it not so "thick". Ew. No offense.
I'm sitting here typing and looking at my feet. For real. I have a great arch, but to be honest I think my toes look like weebels. I have always thought that.
Sure I like a pretty strappy shoe and I like my feet to look pretty but I just can't believe all the men who actually get boners thinking about those strappy shoes on our feet. I have gone to DSW and have felt the glares from total strangers as I try on shoes. I swear they are undressing my foot. Watching me pull my sock off to slide the high heel on. Making ME feel awkward. Like I am doing something in public I shouldn't be. Ew. No offense.
I am starting to think that men like shoes on our feet more than bras off our breasts!
Filed under: Uncategorized