I have nothing to wear.

My friend was telling me about an "older woman" he and his friend were making fun of at the bar.  He described her as having blonde, Heather Locklearish hair.  Feathered to a T.   And then he looked at me,, and said, sorta like yours Vick.

Great.  As if it wasn't hard enough to fit in with the cool kids.. now Im being compared to a 1980's has been.  And being accused of having "feathered" hair.

For the record, its not "feathered".   Its more of a tousled look.  I think of it more as a Bridget Bardot just got out of bed "DO".   Anybody knowing me, reading this, is thinking... did Bridget Bardot  have a birds nest in the back of her head?

He also asked me if I ever considered getting a makeover.  To see what I would look like with not so much hair.  Sorta like HIM I guess.  (Yes I think he is secretly jealous of my not so receeding hairline).

Really?  How much more can I take?  A makeover?  Does he want me to start wearing blouses from kohl's?  Tucked neatly into my slacks?

I admit I'm a little lost when it comes to fashion.  I know my age.  I know I'm a mom.   But whenever I try to shop in the "mom" department I feel like I am shopping FOR my mom.  I am not ready to go there yet.   I don't think I ever will be.  Everyone around me is ready.. but not me.  I went out the other night and was verbally assaulted by a twenty one year old male for wearing what he called a "maxi" dress. He had the nerve to call me a "forty year old woman wearing a maxi dress".   So even when I cover my legs I'm doing it wrong.

It's not fair that the young girls get all the great fashion.  Great fashion and  their legs look amazing in short shorts with high heels.   And long dangling earrings to their shoulders with a slick back ponytail, showing off their perfect unlined faces.  And they all seem to be so beautiful.  All of them.   Yes it's not fair.  And the reason I feel it's not fair is because when I was young and "beautiful" we had blazers with giant shoulders, long skirts with boots and socks and rock hard hair that had to touch the sky.   And jeans that were worn so high they made my butt look LONG.

I totally get why JLO is putting on a sexy concert every other week on American Idol.  She doesn't want to look her age either.  (and she doesn't).   She doesn't want to look like she shops in the women's department of Kohls.    Oh wait.  Nevermind.

Now I am more confused than ever!  All I know is that when I am 80 I want to have crazy wild hair and wear purple glasses.  And if I want to wear spandex again, I will.  Yes.  That's when I really want to go bold.

Heck, I might even start "feathering" my hair again.  Or should I say.. keep it featherd!


*for the record, I love Kohl's and Heather Locklear.


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  • You have nothing to wear but wear itself.

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