love is like a solar storm

So let me get this right.

Heidi and Seal still love each other tremendously and he still thinks she is  the most wonderful woman in the world.. yet.. yet.. after 7 wonderfully happy years of marriage and four children...they are splitting up.   Kristen Cavallari  is having Jay Cutler's baby after calling off their 3 month engagement in the summer.  Oops.  Don't they know that babies make relationships HARDER?  Just ask Seal.  Simon Cowell has admitted he doesn't know if he will EVER marry.. after breaking up with yet another girl at the ripe young age of 52.   There is a solar sun storm or something like that going on in the universe AS I type...  which almost makes me  feel like going outside and wrapping myself in tinfoil.   How in the midst of all this am I .. me.... a and my pointy head.. supposed to find happiness?  It seems utterly impossible.    Downright hopeless.

And to make matters worse.. I've only got 21 more days to find someone to give me chocolates and love, you know.. HAPPINESS!  That's when the most romantic day of the year is (at least that's what I've been taught since middle school when you could have those damn carnations  delivered to your special someone in class..  I never got one..that explains this URGENCY).

Does anybody else feel as helpless as me?   Dying love is all around us.  Even our solar system and sun seem to be having their problems.  Why is it that we have such a hard time with love?  And staying in love?   Is it all just smoke and mirrors?  Is there really only one REAL kind of love?  The parent to child love?   You know.. the UNCONDITIONAL  one?  And is everything else just lust or infatuation?  I have been in love.  Madly, deeply, crazy in love.  Like the kind that tells me I would move to the north pole and swim  with polar bears if HE wanted me to.  And I believed he too had that for me.  And then.. poof!  It was gone.  Over.  And I was left wondering how I had let something so strong and wonderful slip through my hands.

But we all know it doesnt just slip.  Its usually a slow death.  My girlfrinds and I dont understand how we can keep 30 year relationships with each other.. going strong.. yet the most intimate relationships we knew.. are gone.  Forever.  And in some instances they are even involving restraining orders and police reports!

I just don't get this thing called love.  I want to.  I want to believe. I also want someone to fall madly in love with me before February 14th so I can get some pink and red m&ms with the words "B MINE" imprinted on them just for moi!


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