It's pretty much impossible to tell the truth the entire time. Lies always have a way of penetrating one's psyche. First, invading that of the one who tells the lie to the point in which they believe that lying is the best decision. Sometimes the lie slowly morphs into their own truth, one that makes sense only in their heads and perhaps those of other liars. Then to the victim's psyche. The one who doesn't deserve to be manipulated; whose trust is abused by said liar. It seems like people are less affected by actions, than the lie that resulted in the action. What do you hear when you watch "Cheaters?" A man will roll up with Joey Greco and those cameras, victim in tow and what's the first thing that comes out of their mouths?Not you cheated on me. Not you hurt me but "You lied to me."
Recently, a friend of mine, let's call her Janet, found out that someone very close to her lied. Like most cases, she didn't understand why the person told the lie.There was no incident that needed to be covered up. No type of moment of conflict that needed to be resolved. As far as Janet was concerned, there was absolutely no reason. It was as if the liar decided one day to tell a few fibs just for the hell of it. This individual has a history of lying. Lying about significant others. Lying about finances. I've heard numerous reasons why people choose the path of deception instead of the road less traveled. To protect the other person's feelings. To avoid facing harm or conflict. To make themselves or a situation appear to be more or less than it really is. I can go on and on, making excuses for why folks lie, but that's what they will be. A bunch of excuses. As for Janet, she would wholeheartedly believe his stories, responding in a way that any normal person would. It wasn't until she began to put the pieces together and realize that they didn't fit so well that she discovered that she was being played.
Whenever I find out someone has lied to me, I immediately feel like they're testing my intelligence. One has to think you're a fool and a little less deserving of respect to lie to you in the first place right? That's what Janet felt in addition to stress and pain caused by the one person who she's supposed to be able to trust more than just about anyone else on the planet. Even though she didn't get the truth from her significant other outright, Janet's companion told lots of truths about himself. When a person lies, especially continuously, it reveals a telescopic look into their character. Janet's guy lied to inflict pain on her. That shows that he's a very spiteful person with a lot of pain inside. He wanted her to feel what someone else, maybe her made him feel at one point. He wanted her to be jealous of the other "girls" he was seeing, when he would actually be out with friends. When she was not, his lies became more intense. In my opinion, people lie to keep you right where they want you. It's usually about power and control. In reality they are revealing that they not only can't be trusted, but are selfish manipulative cowards. They only have themselves in mind and it really isn't about protecting you at all. It's all about them and keeping their world in order. Some say "white lies" are good. For example, telling someone that they haven't gained weight when they have is a good lie. Or that the meal they prepared is pretty tasty when it sucks. Whether or not lies can ever be good is debatable. So you tell me, is it ever a good time to lie?
Filed under: Love and Relationships