Anyone that knows me can tell you that I'm the less adventurous friend out of the group. The designated driver...the one that doesn't do all of the crazy ish that the powers that be say we're supposed to do during our 20s. But I'm also what you may call an introverted extrovert. You know the type of person that isn't overtly friendly, but friendly enough to make you comfortable. Sometimes people get a bit TOO comfortable with me. Within 5 minutes of meeting them, I know their entire life story from how many kids they have to the latest episode of "Cheaters" they were featured in last week. Not that I'm complaining, but my ears have heard some pretty wild things and I often end up in scenarios like the ones I'm about to describe. Despite me being used to folks divulging too much information on a first encounter, I was still shocked to find out that I was set to star in the local rendition of Trois at a party a little while ago. If you're not familiar with the film here's a hint: three bodies...getting freaky, at the same time, all in agreement. Enough said.
Let's start with one of the first times I was presented with the option to experience whether or not "two is better than one." Like any other single gal in the city, I was at a house party with friends one weekend. The atmosphere was nice, people were cool and the hosts were very hospitable. After a good couple of hours, the atmosphere sort of...changed. It went from a good time to well...potentially a really good time for a few people there. Just imagine being on the Gold Coast and driving west into Cabrini Green. A quick change of scenery. Lights off. Music switched to something that you're more likely to hear at a strip club than a house gathering. So I'm a good three drinks in and it's obvious that I'm slightly buzzed. I guess that's what the couple was waiting for in order to make their move. I'm approached by the guy first:
Him: "You know...you're very attractive Shantell, yea... you're real ****ing sexy."
Him: (calls girlfriend over) "Baby what you think? I'd give her a go."
Her: (big smile) "Yea...I've had my eye on her since she came through the door. And you know what? (steps up to me) If I want you I'm going to get you."
Me: (nervous giggle) "What the hell? Look...I don't know what's popping off here but I'm gonna have to pass." (politely excuses self)
Now if this would have only happened once to me I wouldn't have found it to be so odd; but the fact that it has occurred on more than one occasion has me wondering if I'm the only one that wasn't aware of what I'd like to refer to as "proposition season." While catching up with a very married, seemingly faithful friend on Facebook, it was revealed that he's in a similar relationship. So when he invited me into he and his wife's bed, floor, couch and/or hotel suite, I kindly declined and we went on with regular conversation. I'd like to disclaim that by no means was I offended. Hell I was even flattered. Threesomes just aren't my thing.
The two instances above, along with a few others got me to thinking about relationships, marriage and how it's evolving. There used to be a time when couples only shared their bodies and bed with each other. Having a threesome could only be a fantasy. Not so much in this day and age. This isn't particularly surprising to me seeing as though marriage is constantly being redefined to accommodate a growing population of those who don't fall into traditional categories and as these subgroups continue to strive for marriage equality, we can only expect for the definition to change.
One thing that I can say is the couples seemed to be very comfortable with their arrangements and have a pretty solid understanding of each others' needs, wants and desires. They also seem to do it regularly. After I politely rejected the couple's proposition, they simply moved on to someone who was more comfortable with their request. They exited to the bedroom and the party didn't see them for the rest of the evening. As for the friend who I connected with on Facebook, he's been married to his wife for 6 years now. They credit most of the success of their union to their blatant honesty with each other in terms of attraction and desire for other people. I wonder if this forced idea of traditional monogamy is doing more harm than good to relationships. Perhaps if people were more honest with each other there would be less cheating and divorces. Who knows? Now I prefer fully committed, monogamous relationships, but I can't help but ask, Is three really a crowd?
Filed under: Sex and Relationships