Tag: sports

Bears preseason finale: Critical Qs for pointless game

As every concussed Chicago Bears player will eventually tell you, Thursday night is their final pointless Bears preseason game of the year. Or as their future class-action personal injury lawyers will call it: Exhibit A...

The Week That Will Be – in Jokes #2

As always, The FluffingtonPost not only stays abreast of the news, we try obsessively to stay in front of those breasts. This means regularly anticipating the week in news that will be...

The Week That Will Be – in Jokes

Daily newspapers are shadows of their former glory. So The FluffingtonPost proudly beta-tests a radical change in newspapering. Instead of chronicling yesterday’s news, we’ll attempt to predict the news of next week...
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Blackhawks Down: 10 quick & funny Game 4 adjustments

The Chicago Blackhawks’ Stanley Cup ambitions were dealt a serious blow Monday night. The Boston Bruins won 2-0 to take a 2 games to 1 lead in the best of 7 series. Here are 10 adjustments Blackhawks Head Coach Joel Quenneville must implement before Wednesday’s game to avoid becoming the second coming of the 1945 Chicago Cubs...

Wrigley faithful salute Samardzija on “Mediocrity Night”

Sometimes a sporting event is not just a sporting event. Sometimes it transcends athletics and all logic itself. Such was Saturday night at Wrigley Field when a crowd filled with watered-down beer and low expectations rose to restore its misplaced faith in the Chicago Cubs, if not all humanity...

Pearl Jam: The Price of Pearls at Wrigley Field

Pearl Jam – those slacker darlings of progressives everywhere – will bring their emotive show to the Top 1% masses when they play Wrigley Field on July 19. The concert is expected to be Chicago’s priciest show, with seats ranging from $180 to $2,400...
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Chicago murder rate pauses as entire city awaits Wrigley deal

As a “drop-dead” deadline passed this week without a Wrigley Field deal between the Chicago Cubs and Alderman Tom Tunney, city officials touted one silver lining. Citywide absorption in the drama has slowed Chicago’s murder rate...

Cubs Opening Day Countdown: 10 Funniest Promos for 2013

Cubs fans: With Opening Day around the corner, can anyone confirm if we’ve set a record for the earliest date when Cubs Nation unanimously intones “What Until Next Season”? But Bill Veeck taught us even bad baseball can be fun with the right promotions. So here are the 10 best 2013 Cubs promotions: Monday, April... Read more »

Jesse Jackson Jr. readmitted to Mayo Clinic after Bears’ loss

Sunday night’s 13-6 home loss by the Chicago Bears to Houston has plunged millions of fans into depression.  Just a week after the delirium of routing Tennessee 51-20, optimism for the future has plummeted disturbingly low...
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Cycling off the dope: Nike cuts ties with Lance Armstrong

Shocking only those unfamiliar with the sports marketing world, Nike on Wednesday sanctimoniously terminated its contract with the empty shell of a global brand known as Lance Armstrong...