Posts tagged "sports"

Top 10 Derrick Rose Excuses

Chicago Bulls Derrick Rose skipped his teammates’ victory last night over the Los Angeles Clippers. The Bulls injury report initially listed the cause of absence as a restless night’s sleep at his 3,102-square foot Trump Tower condo...

Cubs fans cheer “We’ve got Ricketts!”

Stealing a page from Sister Teresa, Cubs owner Tom Ricketts beamed positivity at his annual spring training kickoff news conference by proclaiming the Cubs playoff contenders...

Top 10 Super Bowl predictions

Super Bowl Sunday and reckless sports wagering seem as perfectly paired as a Real Housewives marathon and white trash wedding planning. In Vegas...
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Cubs GM Jed Hoyer quits over new mascot

With the Chicago Cubs’ naming of “Clark,” a cute caricature bear, as the new team mascot, General Manager Jed Hoyer has resigned. Team president Theo Epstein was stunned by Hoyer’s exit, believing more than enough room exists in the organization for two mascots...

Bears weather delay leaves 12 players with injured groins

While NFL officials congratulated themselves for suspending the Bears-Raven game out of safety concerns, a dozen Bears still suffered torn groin muscles during the weather delay...

Cubs lose badly to Breaking Bad finale

Despite over-hyped speculation that Cubs Manager Dale Sveum might get whacked on the field at the end of today’s Cubs-Cardinal game in St. Louis, only 14 fans tuned into the last game of the 2013 regular season...
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Cubs Theo Epstein for U.S. President?

Cubs Theo Epstein for U.S. President?
On Thursday, media obsession over Cubs President Theo Epstein’s recent news conference shifted from whether Manager Dale Sveum could be fired to whether Epstein might run for President of the United States...

Cornholing the Cubs: Will Gov. Ricketts move team to Nebraska?

OMAHA, Neb. — As part of his second run to become Nebraska governor, Pete Ricketts – brother of Chicago Cubs owner Tom Ricketts – is rumored to have promised moving the Cubs to Omaha...

Dear Celebrity: I’m too young to be your pen pal

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas split: http://bit.ly/15JEPFK
My first child recently turned three months, but behaviorally, he has gone straight from newborn to man of letters. I am partly to blame...
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Bears preseason finale: Critical Qs for pointless game

As every concussed Chicago Bears player will eventually tell you, Thursday night is their final pointless Bears preseason game of the year. Or as their future class-action personal injury lawyers will call it: Exhibit A...