Posts tagged "international"

ABC dumps Democrats Debate for Trump-Putin Xmas Special

Citing the low ratings of previous Democratic debates, ABC TV has bumped Saturday’s third debate in favor of...

Putin shoots down House Speaker rumor

Pausing from shirtlessly running two undeclared wars in Ukraine and Syria, Russian dictator Vladmir Putin ended a week of rumors that he’s a front runner to become the next U.S. Speaker of the House...

Great Escape: Edward Snowden leaks himself

Russian authorities today revealed NSA leaker Edward Snowden has disappeared from Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport. Their best theory is he encrypted himself and slipped out via several thumb drives...
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Edward Snowden in Russia: 10 tarmac time-killers

Edward Snowden gives new meaning to the phrase “fleeing from justice.” In the 2½ weeks since outing himself as an NSA leaker, he slummed it for several days in a luxury Hong Kong hotel, then probably crashed on the futon of a Chinese online gaming buddy, and is now impersonating a college backpacker who lost his passport at Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport...

Post-Cinco de Mayo, U.S. Alcoholics Look Ahead to Chechen Independence Day

As biodegrading landfill agents do their magic on cheap Cinco de Mayo sombreros, the nation’s 14 million alcoholics have turned their attention to the next great foreign holiday appropriated for American insobriety: Chechen Independence Day...

Pope Watch 2013: ‘Up All Night’ Vatican Edition

March Madness has swept Vatican City, but despite hourly rumors of a new Pope, the 115 Cardinals remain sealed in the Sistine Chapel playing strip Twister. Thus the hordes of reporters have little to do other than re-explain how a group-think process by enabling pederasts still reflects the “Will of God.” But here are the Top 10 news bits that have dribbled out...
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Top 10 things Pope Benedict XVI will miss on retirement

When Pope Benedict XVI retires on Feb. 28, he will make good on his Lenten pledge to give up working for God. But with his abdication, here are at least 10 other things the Pontiff will certainly miss...

Top 10 Real Reasons Pope Benedict XVI Resigned

When Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation, the news circled the globe faster than it takes an old Pontiff to Tweet “Veni. Vidi. Recessi.” (“I came. I saw. I retired.”) Initial reports cited declining health, but here are the 10 real reasons he’s putting himself out to stud...

Will Ryder Cup choke mean rebirth of Occupy Wall Street?

Following the U.S. golfing millionaires’ stunning “Meltdown at Medinah” Sunday, the Occupy Wall Street organization has reported a huge surge in traffic and donations to their Web page...
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Closing Ceremony: 10 Final Jokes about the Olympics

1.)  Citing the handicap of her great beauty, Lolo Jones will eventually go home a winner after sweeping every Paralympic track event...