Posts tagged "fake news"

Cubs GM Jed Hoyer quits over new mascot

With the Chicago Cubs’ naming of “Clark,” a cute caricature bear, as the new team mascot, General Manager Jed Hoyer has resigned. Team president Theo Epstein was stunned by Hoyer’s exit, believing more than enough room exists in the organization for two mascots...

Bears weather delay leaves 12 players with injured groins

While NFL officials congratulated themselves for suspending the Bears-Raven game out of safety concerns, a dozen Bears still suffered torn groin muscles during the weather delay...

Health care website works great after error-checking software run

Applying the physicians’ philosophy of “Heal thyself,” President Obama visited the offices of Health & Human Services today and personally fixed the much beleaguered health care website...

Chicago’s Top 10 new budget balancing ideas

After two budgets filled with hundreds of millions of dollars in tax increases, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel is at it again hustling new “creative budget ideas” to plug yet another 9-figure shortfall in the city’s $8 billion budget...

Government shutdown has even cult deprogrammers wary

As the GOP’s hostage taking of the U.S. government enters its 822nd day, cult deprogrammers nationwide announced they will no longer take cases involving deprogramming members of the GOP’s Tea Party...

Cubs lose badly to Breaking Bad finale

Despite over-hyped speculation that Cubs Manager Dale Sveum might get whacked on the field at the end of today’s Cubs-Cardinal game in St. Louis, only 14 fans tuned into the last game of the 2013 regular season...

Cubs Theo Epstein for U.S. President?

Cubs Theo Epstein for U.S. President?
On Thursday, media obsession over Cubs President Theo Epstein’s recent news conference shifted from whether Manager Dale Sveum could be fired to whether Epstein might run for President of the United States...

Cornholing the Cubs: Will Gov. Ricketts move team to Nebraska?

OMAHA, Neb. — As part of his second run to become Nebraska governor, Pete Ricketts – brother of Chicago Cubs owner Tom Ricketts – is rumored to have promised moving the Cubs to Omaha...

The Week That Will Be – in Jokes #2

As always, The FluffingtonPost not only stays abreast of the news, we try obsessively to stay in front of those breasts. This means regularly anticipating the week in news that will be...

End of Era: Chicago politics loses its last Dick (Mell)

The Chicago City Council – which has long lacked balls – has now lost its last remaining Dick with the official retirement Wednesday of 33rd Ward Alderman Dick Mell...
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    SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who is a comedy writer, thumb-wrestling cut man, and aspiring Futurist. Also authors the #OnThisDate Alternate Almanac on Twitter. Contact

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