The Chicago Cubs victory parade and rally was a spectacle for the ages. But given baseball is a game of great subtleties and nuances in which perfection is seldom attained, here is a Top 10 list of small blemishes noted by observers:
- Sugar low: Too little candy was thrown to fans because Maddon trusted only Montgomery and Chapman's arms.
- Chapman’s bus: Ran out of gas at Lake Shore Drive and Goethe from over use.
- An overserved Jed Hoyer: Two years of resentment boiled over when Jed took a swing at Clark the Cub for stealing his haircut.
- River of Red: The city nicely dyed the Chicago River blue. Sadly, it paid $20 per Tidy Bowl puck to an approved city vendor instead of 4 for just $5 at any Jewel-Osco.
- Bus profiling: Chicago Police pulled over all parade buses with black and brown players for running red lights. (The white players were sent red-light camera tickets.)
- Catcher Willson Contreras: Arrived late to Grant Park because he stopped his driver 12 times en route to talk things over.
- Rooftop redux: A handful of Michigan Avenue condo owners protested Hutchinson Field video screens blocking their rally views.
- Crane Kenney’s speech. Easily the worst Crane technique since Danny LaRusso down at the ocean.
- Crowd estimate: With only 9.5 million residents in the Chicago metro area, no way 5 million white people exist unafraid of traveling downtown.
- Mayoral arrogance: Rahm Emanuel presumptuously gave Jason Heyward tips on how to hit with just 9 fingers on the bat.
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who likes long baseball games but recommends changing the 7th Inning Stretch to a siesta.