On guns, GOP reaffirms ‘the least we can do’ is all it will do

Following the worst mass shooting of the year, all GOP members of Congress and presidential candidates offered its placebo prayers for the more than 30 victims and their families in San Bernardino, Calif.

The unanimous prayer was offered after a slight delay to allow NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre to review and approve.

“I’m deeply offended by criticism of our prayer,” Speaker of the House Paul Ryan said. “My belief in the power of prayer is almost as strong as my belief that unrestricted political donations from the NRA have absolutely no effect on my unqualified support for whatever positions they request of us.”

LaPierre disputed he had any input into the GOP prayer. He also lashed out at President Barack Obama for crassly trying to leverage the tragedy for his own benefit.

“It’s despicable. The San Bernardino shooting occurred during an office Christmas party. If only everyone at that party carried a sidearm ordered from the NRA’s Christmas Gift Catalog – available online at www.AlliWantForChristmasAreTwoNRAGuns.com – this tragedy could have been somewhat lessened,” he said.

The San Bernardino shooting represented the 352nd multiple-victim shooting in the U.S. this year. These accounted for more than 460 American deaths and more than 1,300 injured.

Just four weeks ago, the GOP demanded bold action from President Obama to respond to the death of 120 Frenchmen in Paris, but Wednesday, Republican lawmakers cautioned against any emotional response to curb the carnage on the homefront.

Response from Democratic presidential candidates varied widely. Democratic presidential nominee Bernie Sanders urged both sides of the gun debate to stop yelling and screaming at each other.

“I REPEAT! STOP THE YELLING AND SCREAMING! I CAN BARELY EVEN HEAR MYSELF SCREAM ABOUT THIS NATION'S PROFOUND INCOME INEQUALITY,” he said via Twitter.

Hillary Clinton urged her “Republican friends” to put a sock in their grandstanding.

“I suggest every Republican try putting themselves in the shoes of a shooting target,” she said. “That’s exactly what I did when I imagined coming under gun fire in Bosnia. It was a profound experience, especially as the senator from New York during the 9/11 attacks.”

SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who agrees with the NRA that spear guns don't kill people. Drunk SCUBA partners with spear guns kill people.

Leave a comment