With great sadness, The FluffingtonPost bids bon voyage to one of its favorite public servants: Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL) Wait... Is "bon voyage" appropriate for getting sent up the river?
Regardless, Junior will be missed. No one can spice up a dusty old campaign scandal quite the way he can. First there was the walking around with a Batman belt buckle; then the midlife crisis karate training; then his dance with that devilish Elvis impersonator (Blago); then the midlife crisis relapse with the “restaurant hostess” mistress; then the bold move of taking a 165-day leave of absence from already not doing his elected job; then the list of things he illegally spent his $750,000 in campaign cash on (a Build-A-Build Workshop, really?).
The good news is although Junior was sentenced to 30 months, he should get out in 15 since his bi-polar personalities will serve the sentence concurrently. But unknown at press time was whether they would get separate cells or fight over who gets the bottom bunk.
Until that’s sorted out, here’s a look back at The FluffPost’s satiric coverage that almost won it a public interest Peabody. (Okay, not really. I'm lying like a Jackson now.)
- A Prayer for Jesse Jackson Jr.
- Heaven’s Response(!) to “A Prayer for Jesse Jackson Jr.”
- Might Voters Forgive Jesse Jackson Jr. if he’s Bruce Wayne?
- Is the Mayo Clinic too white for Jesse Jr.?
- What is ‘bi-polling disorder’? And why is Jesse Jr. relapsing?
- Jesse Jr. returns to Mayo after Chicago Bears loss
- Illinois politicians give thanks for not being Jesse Jackson Jr.
- Jesse Jackson Jr. officially begins his ‘Dark Knight’
Get notified by email of new FluffPost humor. Provide your address below & click “Subscribe By Email.” You can opt out any time.