SkitSketchJeff and his wife recently traveled to Phoenix to adopt a beautiful newborn. After eluding Pinched Cheek Syndrome by avoiding all Early Bird Specials, they received from the hospital the “Arizona Family Kit.” This featured a companion book chock-full of local tips. Here are some of the most memorable chapters:
1. Conceal-Carry, Baby Björns & You
2. Child-Friendly Alternatives to MLK Day
3. Raising a Good Goldwater Republican
4. Protecting Your Child from Obamacare
5. Decoding the “Raising Arizona” Amber Alert System
6. Early Childhood Development (or how to not raise a drunk ASU student)
7. Beyond the Stroller: Javelina-proofing your Pack ’n’ Play
8. Dude Ranches: cool. Dude Petting Ranches: not for children
9. Inoculation Do’s & Dont’s (or how to avoid Spring Training Cub fans and other cults)
10. Pro’s & Con’s of infant cosmetic surgery**
** Includes special North Scottsdale buyers' guide
- For more jokes at Arizona’s expense, see this related humor item.
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who wonders why piano evolution didn’t naturally stop with the Spinet upright.
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