Who knew America’s war-time generals were this prodigious. While conducting with one hand the longest war in American history, they use the other (so to speak) to bed biographers, party-plan with socialites and get involved in child-custody battles for non-military personnel. What’s next? Launching a new cologne line with Brad Pitt (Eau de Humanity)?
So might the generals have strong personal reasons against ending the War in Afghanistan? Here are 10 funny reasons The FluffingtonPost could think of. Add your own in the comments section below.
10. To avoid spending more time with the wife
9. To avoid spending more time with the mistress
8. Have grown to love “Casual Everyday” desert wardrobe
7. Without a war, who praises you for overspending on military toilets?
6. Biographers with Benefits
5. Since the Colombian sex scandal, transferring to Secret Service
is no longer attractive
4. Hate to lose CENTCOM’s free party-planning perk
3. Just perfected a new batch of Arabic pickup lines
2. Flirty emails about one’s “improvised explosive device” never get old
1. Finally mastered my sand wedge
For related stories, see:
- Obama names Predator Drone to replace Petraeus at CIA
- Today’s Puzzler: How much junk’s in Jill Kelley’s trunk?
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who thinks General Petraeus’ rocks those Members Only jackets with the stars on the shoulder straps. For more FluffingtonPost humor, visit BurdickComm.com.
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