Sunday night’s 13-6 home loss by the Chicago Bears to Houston has plunged millions of fans into depression. Just a week after the delirium of routing Tennessee 51-20, optimism for the future has plummeted disturbingly low.
This included Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. who immediately returned to the Mayo Clinic where he’s been treated for a bi-polar disorder since the summer. In a robocall to his constituents, he explained the depths of his disappointment in the Bears that sent him tailspinning back to Rochester, Minn.
“It’s maddening. It’s like our offense is paralyzed by some kind of mysterious personality disorder,” he said. “On a human level, I sympathize, but as a fan, we shouldn’t accept being represented by an offense that suddenly disappears without any explanation. If any member of this coaching staff had a shred of character, they would resign immediately.”
The Bears loss became such a debacle that after halftime quarterback Jay Cutler did not take the field. Bears spokesmen reported he suffered a concussion but would not be available for media questions.
On his robocall, Jackson questioned the validity of Cutler’s injury as well as the quarterback’s choice to duck media questions.
“The timing of his supposed condition is very suspicious. Then to duck questions from the media and fans like that… well, I’m just saying, it doesn’t inspire the level of trust an NFL quarterback needs from his fan base.”
Jesse Junior was himself unavailable to answer whether it was appropriate for fans like him to go into panic mode given that the Bears’ still own the second-best record in the NFC.
His wife Chicago Alderman Sandi Jackson would only say Jesse Junior’s return to Mayo has nothing to do with reports of a possible federal plea deal for her husband. She also asked all Bears fans to respect her family’s privacy and to pray for the Bears’ offensive line.
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, whose Bourbonnais sauce has made him world famous. For more Jesse Jr. humor, see:
- Illinois politicians give thanks for not being Jesse Jackson Jr.
- What is ‘bi-polling disorder’? And why is Jesse Jr. relapsing?
- Is the Mayo Clinic too white for Jesse Jr.?
- Might Voters Forgive Jesse Jackson Jr. if he’s Bruce Wayne?
- A Prayer for Jesse Jackson Jr.
- Heaven’s Response(!) to “A Prayer for Jesse Jackson Jr.”
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