10. Obama learned his victory over Romney should earn him a second Nobel Peace Prize – or as Norwegians call it: the rare “Double Knöbber.”
9. The GOP learned the (Todd) Akin’s Diet really works. Republicans lost a ton everywhere.
8. Romney’s Olympic horse Rafalca learned she is no longer the family’s most public loser.
7. N.J. Gov. Chris Christie learned he can play a critical role in creating a new Republican “big tent.” If he would loan the RNC a pair of his pants, they could erect the tent.
6. Obama’s crack data-mining operation learned about the exploding cost of college. It cost them $1 billion alone to win the Electoral College.
5. Preview audiences of “Lincoln” learned Steven Spielberg’s movie has a more realistic vampire body count than previous interpretations.
4. Nancy Pelosi learned she made 10% less than John Boehner as House Speaker, but prefers not to make a federal case out of it.
3. The GOP finally learned women won the right to vote 92 years ago and that 72% of Hispanic Americans hold a grudge.
2. Obama learned he was wise to delay his ticket’s victory speech until Biden got all celebratory cursing off his chest at the hotel.
1. Karl Rove learned to believe mainstream polls and finally called the election in Obama’s favor… the 2008 election.
For a final look-back at all twenty Election 2012 humor postings, click here for a full index. This includes such faves as:
- Trick-or-Treat: 10 Great Presidential Pranks
- The first presidential debate (Photo gallery)
- The FluffingtonPost Presidential endorsement
- Attack by plagiarists puts Mitt Romney on defensive
- Might Voters Forgive Jesse Jackson Jr. if he’s Bruce Wayne?
- Hidden bonus track: 3 things I’ve learned from Mitt Romney (Video)
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who learned 3 in 4 Secret Service agents would take a bullet for the president. The other one would push a coworker in front of the bullet.
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