10 best Top Ten numbers of all time

10.) No. 8 — Not much to say about this number. It almost didn’t make the list.

9.) No. 5 — In the high-flying high-fiving ’80s, no number was bigger or later fell further. Don’t expect a comeback unless fist-bumps are found to cause carpal tunnel.

8.) No. 4 — No gold, silver or bronze here. Best you can say: half as boring
as “8.”

7.) No. 2 — Unless you’re China or Miss America runner-up to Vanessa Williams, no one cares. As they told me at my GED reunion, if you’re not first, then you’re not even valedictorian to a bunch of idiots.

6.) No. 9 — Match it with a “6” and watch the pay-per-view fireworks fly. But as a solo act, harder to stomach than a Kirstie Alley swimsuit calendar.

5.) No. 6 — The only number with a pot belly, but thanks to those never-get-old “Joy of Six” puns, the extra heft actually seems cute (as long as it never cheats on you).

4.) No. 7 — The luckiest number? My brain says bull—, but my heart would gladly give an aorta for this guy’s press agent.

3.) No. 10 — There’s a lot to say for the primacy effect. Everyone remembers the first and last… except maybe from this list.

2.) No. 3 — Admittedly a sentimental choice. I’ve always had a soft spot for prime numbers. Also, not even a Mormon (or “especially not” a Mormon?) would hate on the eponym for the threesome.

1.) No. 1 — Okay, I’m going a bit on reputation here. It tops everyone’s list, but as they say, 1.3 billion in a No. 2 country like China couldn’t be wrong.

SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who wonders if Mitt Romney considers stay-at-home moms like his wife to be members of the 47% or honorary non-tax-paying 53 percenters.

Get notified by email of new FluffPost humor. Provide your address below & click “Subscribe By Email.” You can opt out any time.

Filed under: Humor

Tags: Top 10 list

Leave a comment

  • ChicagoNow is full of win

    Welcome to ChicagoNow.

    Meet our bloggers,
    post comments, or
    pitch your blog idea.

  • Advertisement:
  • Fresh Chicago News

  • Subscribe to The FluffingtonPost

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

  • Meet The Blogger

    SkitSketchJeff

    SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who is a comedy writer, thumb-wrestling cut man, and aspiring Futurist. Also authors the #OnThisDate Alternate Almanac on Twitter. Contact jeffwburdick@aol.com

  • Tags

  • Advertisement: