1. Trigger nationwide Charmins shortage by TP’ing all of Mitt Romney’s mansions.
2. Cause explosive Obama weight gain by replacing his stash of Marlboro Reds on Air Force One with Sparkle Cherry Laffy Taffy.
3. Swap out Romney’s “Binder Full of Women” with the “hotter” one that Church of Scientology put together for Tom Cruise.
4. Saran wrap all toilet bowls on trains along Joe Biden’s Wilmington-to-D.C. Amtrak route.
6. Replace all of Obama’s dress ties with clownishly wide ones that only reach to the third button.
7. Issue fake internal memo to Romney camp about “Flex-Hour Fridays” so all six female staffers leave early.
10. Create fake gaming app for Obama’s Top 1% contributors called “Present Company Excluded.” (Gamer's objective: attain higher and higher levels of guilt-free luxury through increased campaign giving. Bonus levels for endorsing Buffet Rule and bundling donations.)
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who last Halloween went as a “sexy sitting president.” And, yes, lugging a chair around in a bikini made for a long cold night.
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