Archive for October 2012

Finding shelter when a killer hurricane uses your name

“Hurricane Sandy continued to barrel towards the East Coast early Monday, threatening some 50 million people with a storm surge the National Hurricane Center called ‘life-threatening.’ ”...

Hurricane Sandy coverage to delay election by one week

Saturation TV coverage of the slow approach of Hurricane Sandy has led to such a shortage of reporters for covering closing election slurs that the two presidential campaigns have agreed to delay Election Day by one week...

Most trusted man in America endorses Obama at the U.N.

Former U.S. general and secretary of state Colin Powell – one of the most trusted and respected living Americans – returned Thursday to the United Nations to make a forceful and convincing endorsement of the re-election of President Barack Obama...

What is ‘bi-polling disorder’? And why is Jesse Jr. relapsing?

Jesse Jackson Jr., who was recently diagnosed with a rare bi-polling disorder, has checked back into Minnesota’s Mayo Clinic. With the Presidential Election heading into the home stretch, his family said the temptation for Junior to obsess over multiple polls was just too great...

Trick-or-Treat: 10 Great Presidential Campaign Pranks

1. Trigger nationwide Charmins shortage by TP’ing all of Mitt Romney’s mansions...

Cycling off the dope: Nike cuts ties with Lance Armstrong

Shocking only those unfamiliar with the sports marketing world, Nike on Wednesday sanctimoniously terminated its contract with the empty shell of a global brand known as Lance Armstrong...

Infographic: What bumper sticker would YOU put on Mitt Romney’s car?


Will future Chicago casino be Rahm Emanuel’s Obamacare?

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel humbly congratulated himself Wednesday for submitting a balanced budget. He also gave city taxpayers an early Halloween gift by terrifying them with the threat of taxes doubling to cover $1.2 billion in new pension costs...

10 Ways Chicago Bears fans can spend Bye Week

Given that the NFL perfectly timed the Chicago Bears’ bye week to fall when not a single other local professional sports team is active, Bears fans are in serious need of a pigskin substitute. Here are 10 ways they could itch that football Jones (not named Thomas)...

Did you stretch? Not as much as that Chicago Marathon ‘spectator estimate’ will

With today’s 35th running of the Chicago Marathon, the race is well-established as a local tradition. In fact in my household, we celebrate it each year as that great crisp autumn day when Chicago Marathon organizers announce an absurdly high spectator figure...
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    SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who is a comedy writer, thumb-wrestling cut man, and aspiring Futurist. Also authors the #OnThisDate Alternate Almanac on Twitter. Contact

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