1.) Citing the handicap of her great beauty, Lolo Jones will eventually go home a winner after sweeping every Paralympic track event.
2.) As punishment for finishing second in the medal count, China is making its entire Olympic team return home.
3.) Concerned that London 2012 officials can’t safely shut down the Olympics and layoff all workers, Mitt Romney has offered the services of Bain Capital.
4.) London declined this, but the IOC has invited Romney to douse all future Olympic flames.
5.) How inspiring to see Malaysian air rifle shooter Nur Suryani Mohamed Taibi compete while 8 months pregnant. After the birth, what’s the chance her baby will have no response to this or any sounds whatsoever?
6.) I loved how NBC ended all in-studio interviews by replaying medal ceremonies. Nothing more riveting than watching self-focused athletes watch themselves.
7.) The millionaires on the US men’s basketball team can’t wait to leave. Apparently the amateur athletes are mooching off them even more than the Americans’ extended families back home.
8.) Ryan Lochte is expected to cash in on his underwhelming Olympics by reprising Rob Lowe’s aging frat boy role in remake of St. Elmo’s Fire.
9.) NBC calls gymnastics coverage a huge success. Their overuse of song “Home” by American Idol winner Phillip Phillips means FOX can’t ever use it again without triggering an audience gag reflex.
10.) While the Brits will sure miss the Olympics, fortunately they have another 25 years and $14 billion in bond repayments to keep the memories fresh.
For more Olympic humor enjoy the following recent posts:
- Olympics Infographic: Is the World Really All Watching?
- 10 funny Olympics photos
- 10 Jokes for Week 1
- 10 Jokes from the Opening Ceremony
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who leaves London promising the other athletes to stay in touch via Facebook (but ultimately will “hide as spam” 30% of them who post way too many tortured inspirational quotes to his wall).
Get notified by email of new FluffPost humor. Provide your address below & click “Subscribe By Email.” You can opt out any time.