10 Jokes to Open the London Olympics

1.) Prediction: After Michael Phelps wins his last gold medal, he yells at the camera, “I’m going to Burning Man!”

2.) Britain’s inspiring Olympic motto: “Think Big. Think Bronze.”

3.) To honor the Games’ classic roots, British officials have ordered all athletes to compete in leather sandals... with white socks.

4.) The 2012 Olympics are costing $14 billion, which will be worth every pence if it can establish London as a world-class city.

5.) Ann Romney has a horse in the “dressage” competition, but oddsmakers say she’s a longshot to bring home gold. Most expect her to deposit it in Switzerland to avoid taxes.

6.) Interesting fact about Equestrian Dressage: 90% of all competitors dress right, but 80% of winning horses dress left.

7.) Due to European austerity plans, every EU country will dress in Bulgarian cabbage leafs.

8.) Most summer Olympic events have no practical value, which is why the balance beam is so refreshing. When “beam-ers” retire, even the worst ones can beat field sobriety tests for the rest of their lives.

9.) Missed opportunity: Why didn't they light the Olympic flame to an upbeat dance version of Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind”?

10.) Great seeing film legend Roger Moore cut the ribbon to open the athletes’ posh new residential complex, officially named Moonraker Village.

For more 2012 Olympic humor see these recent posts:

SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who so enjoys the spectacle of Olympic trampoline he’s petitioning to add inflatable moon walks to the 2016 Rio Games.

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    SkitSketchJeff

    SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who is a comedy writer, thumb-wrestling cut man, and aspiring Futurist. Also authors the #OnThisDate Alternate Almanac on Twitter. Contact jeffwburdick@aol.com

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