The secrecy surrounding Jesse Jackson Jr.’s bizarre disappearance is without parallel – except in superhero comics. So what’s the chance Junior is actually recuperating from crime-fighting injuries? Judge for yourself using this checklist of symptoms for “Extreme Superhero Ideation” from the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV):
- Has millionaire father who casts long shadow – check
- History of emotional ailments and clinical moodiness – check
- Unexplained disappearances – check
- Sudden resculpting of physique – check
- Alter-ego’s professional work is low-regarded – check
- Hails from city suffering pervasive, crippling corruption and violent crime epidemic that public officials are either uninterested in, oblivious of, or lack new ideas for combatting – check, check, check
But if this doesn’t convince you, consider these photos…
- Illinois politicians give thanks for not being Jesse Jackson Jr.
- Jesse Jr. returns to Mayo after Chicago Bears loss
- What is ‘bi-polling disorder’? And why is Jesse Jr. relapsing?
- A Prayer for Jesse Jackson Jr.
- Heaven’s Response(!) to “A Prayer for Jesse Jackson Jr.”
- Rev. Jesse Jackson disputes that Mayo Clinic is too white for Junior
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who thinks Super Tuesday must be the worst super power ever. For more FluffingtonPost humor, sketch videos and fake news, visit BurdickComm.com.
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