5 Jokes to set Monday’s Mood

1.) How’s your Monday going… on a scale from 10 down to “reminded this weekend why beer goggles and Lakeview tattoo parlors are such a bad mix.”

2.) Thanks to Super-PACs and mega-bundling “Leadership Circles,” both presidential campaigns now resemble Google+ for the Top 1%. Only difference: even fewer people like Google+.

3.) A phone poll of 20,000 Chicagoans found only 20% can identify their alderman by name. And in an FBI hidden-wire survey, only 8% of Chicago aldermen would identify themselves by name. Other aldermanic responses:
► 72% – “Who wants to know?”
► 18% – “What’s with the 3rd degree? I thought you needed a friend.”
►   2% – “Alderman Stone will answer you just as soon as he wakes up.”

4.) Twitter trivia: No. 1 most useless hashtag ever: #LudditeFlashMob@5

5.) In its checkout line, my pharmacy now stocks both the Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush and Fifty Shades of Grey. Why not go for the trifecta and offer that special attachment to “the Justin” as well?

SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who often wonders why some numbers like “nine” can be alphabetized but not others. For more FluffingtonPost humor, visit BurdickComm.com.

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    SkitSketchJeff

    SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who is a comedy writer, thumb-wrestling cut man, and aspiring Futurist. Also authors the #OnThisDate Alternate Almanac on Twitter. Contact jeffwburdick@aol.com

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