1.) While upholding key portions of Obamacare, the Supreme Court sidestepped directly ruling on man-dates. Observers believe the Court is delaying until a nice, juicy same-sex-marriage case plops in its lap.
2.) In the 5-4 ruling, Justice Roberts proved the key swing vote. He jilted the right to join the progressive foursome of Breyer, Ginsburg, Kagan and Sotomayor. Ruth Bader Ginsburg called the move “overdue” and “way hot.”
3.) In a separate ruling, the Court also strengthened their home-court advantage. Moving forward, every gallery guest must wear all black like the justices to further intimidate visiting attorneys.
4.) You know you should lose a few when... your work wardrobe consists solely of dark, pleated, beltless robes. (And don’t believe those sycophantic solicitors. It ain’t a slimming look.)
5.) Elsewhere in the Beltway: In a rare bipartisan display, the Do Nothing Congress passed a unanimous resolution applauding Jesse Jackson Jr.’s hutzpah in blaming exhaustion for his inability to accomplish anything.
SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who thinks the Jefferson Memorial is actually God’s personal roll-on antiperspirant. For more FluffingtonPost humor, visit BurdickComm.com.