5 Jokes: Supreme Court Proves Shy about Man-dates

1.) While upholding key portions of Obamacare, the Supreme Court sidestepped directly ruling on man-dates. Observers believe the Court is delaying until a nice, juicy same-sex-marriage case plops in its lap.    

2.) In the 5-4 ruling, Justice Roberts proved the key swing vote. He jilted the right to join the progressive foursome of Breyer, Ginsburg, Kagan and Sotomayor. Ruth Bader Ginsburg called the move “overdue” and “way hot.”

3.) In a separate ruling, the Court also strengthened their home-court advantage. Moving forward, every gallery guest must wear all black like the justices to further intimidate visiting attorneys.

4.) You know you should lose a few when... your work wardrobe consists solely of dark, pleated, beltless robes. (And don’t believe those sycophantic solicitors. It ain’t a slimming look.)

5.) Elsewhere in the Beltway: In a rare bipartisan display, the Do Nothing Congress passed a unanimous resolution applauding Jesse Jackson Jr.’s hutzpah in blaming exhaustion for his inability to accomplish anything.

SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who thinks the Jefferson Memorial is actually God’s personal roll-on antiperspirant. For more FluffingtonPost humor, visit BurdickComm.com.

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  • On #1, you also skirted the issue whether Kagen, Sotomayor, and Ginsburg are in favor of man dates or any dates. We, of course, know, from the confirmation hearings, what a stud Thomas is.

    Getting somewhat serious on #1, despite what the LGBT lobby wants, there probably won't be a direct shot to the Supreme Court on homosexual marriage. The California case seems tied up on the issue that while not allowing it is not discriminatory, taking it back by an initiative after a judge gave it to them is. Similarly, even if David Orr takes a judgment by confession (in effect) in Cook County, that won't get the case to the Illinois Supreme Court, unless someone has standing to defend the law (and it is clear in Illinois that the only such person is Lisa Madigan).

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