Potholes the city can't fix

Potholes the city can't fix

Drive around Chicago and you're certain to hit some bumps in the road, but believe it or not, there are actually some potholes the city can't fix. If you've ever found yourself  wondering how you keep ending up in the same kind of toxic relationships, with bad bosses, or funky friends, it might not be the other people at all, you might be in some holes yourself. This is no soapbox sermon or gallivanting on a white horse. No. The holes I'm talking about are ones I've fallen in personally, time and again.

Portia Nelson describes this entire process in There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery. In it, she writes:

"I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Like today's Candy Crush addicts who stay stuck on levels for days, weeks, or even months, I stayed stuck on this level, simply reacting to whatever life through my way. But I don't like scary movies, camp, giant drops, or other sudden moves so I had to make some quick adjustments. This level is not one I wanted to frequent.

In the next stage Nelson writes:

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

Yes, a long time. Too long actually. I floundered here for what seemed like an eternity until something clicked inside of me. I had to get out of the hole. And I did. Except...

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Now there's something that requires prayer and meditation to understand. You mean, I have a habit of falling in holes? "Yes", responded my journaling inner child who sought safety and assurance. I vowed to do better by her, and big ole grown me, but eventually...

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

I finally get it. Like the Jefferson's I've moved on up, but it wasn't to a deluxe apartment in the sky, it was simply out the black holes I created and decorated and cohabitated and consecrated until I realized this hole was not home. The great thing about continued hole exploration is that life will provide you great reads along the way to light the path, even when the ignominious hole worked overtime to prevent any light from entering or escaping. Fortunately, God called light out of darkness and did the same for me. He worked tirelessly to help me and in every decision, relationship, person, or place that crossed my path. He even sent me the artistry of Gloria Naylor's "Linden Hills" with her character Willa who came out up out of that basement. Like her, one day, I just made a decision to walk up those stairs and come out of that hole and stay out of there forever.

Maybe it's time you let them come tumbling down.

Maybe it's time you let them come tumbling down.

What amazes me most about this entire process is that life is so circuitous that you start out blaming everything and everybody for what you don't have or what you thought you'd be, only to come all the way back around and remember the nebulous stank of that hole and discover, "No, the answer is in me."It is written in the Psalms that "it was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn [God's] decrees" (119: 71) and I couldn't agree more, but now I don't have to stand out around entertaining celestial trips as if they're adventurous because I know the hole, the street, and the outcome, and it all has to do with choice. I can now appreciate and respect the fact that my life is the sum total of choices I've made, and if I want better, then I must do better, and it's no one else's fault, responsibility, or undertaking. It truly begins and ends with me, with God at the center of it all. And by the way, I cemented that hole and covered it with the blood of Jesus. It no longer has dominion over me. IFAIH!


I'm a wife, mom of six daughters with the youngest being twin 4-yr olds, and fitness instructor, which should have me exhausted by default. But, I press on to win the prize God has for me by inspiring and motivating others to live "In FITNESS and In Health." If you'd like to receive these messages daily, fill out the Email Subscription box. It's free and there's no Spam.

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inspired as you prosper and be in good health!

God Bless!

This year, I also won $1,000 for losing 10 pounds as part of the Body by Vi 90-Day Challenge Project 10 initiative which gives 30 meals for a child in need, and rewards 10 Vi Challengers $1,000 each every Monday, and you can win too!

The Body by Vi 90-Day Challenge is North America's #1 Weight Loss and Fitness Challenge Platform.

The Body by Vi 90-Day Challenge is North America's #1 Weight Loss and Fitness Challenge Platform.

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