For those who may not know, which is most of you, I dress up like a superhero from time to time. Cosplay is something that has gained a lot of popularity in recent years. I've been doing it since around 2007, simply because I went to school for theatre and I've always enjoyed wearing costumes (plus, I'm a long time comic book reader and movie lover)... it's fun! I've done various events with a local organization called Costumers With A Cause, where we dress up as characters and attend local charity events for kids. I used to dress in spandex all the time and transform myself into my favorite character, Psylocke (see my About Me page picture for the version from 2009). However, in the past year, I've shied away from wearing spandex because I've been unhappy with how it looks on me.
If you saw my last blog post, you read that I've been dealing with a hypothyroid and also Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. There are many side effects that come with this, including depression. I had always thought that people claiming to have depression were making it up... but, I've learned otherwise. With this, came a lower self esteem and confidence in myself. Gaining weight from it obviously didn't help with either of those things.
Now, before you start accusing me of using the word "chubby," let me tell you that I needed to grab your attention, right? My mind will tell me that I am chubby from time to time. I'll see it in the mirror. Other times, I just see a sexy b**** in the mirror. I do not believe in putting ourselves down, when it comes down to it. THAT is why I made myself put on the spandex to attend a recent event for the Make A Wish Foundation with Costumers With a Cause. I needed to stop name calling myself!
I'll be the first to tell someone that they need to love themselves no matter how happy or unhappy with their body they may be at the moment. So, why wasn't I taking my own advice? A lot of people start diets and exercise out of sheer hatred of their bodies, but that just doesn't work! We can't beat up our bodies and deprive them out of punishment that we think we deserve. Nope nope! The choice to exercise and eat healthy needs to come out of a love for our bodies and a desire to take care of them as they deserve to be taken care of. I KNEW that I needed to do this, so I decided it's time to suck it up and love my body again. I wore my Psylocke costume to the event.
I was really nervous at first, but once out amongst the people I discovered that it's really all in my head. Sure, there may be naysayers out there who want to say negative things about someone else to make themselves feel better... but screw them! The little kids at this event loved me! They even learned my name and called out to me while I was posing for pictures. They didn't think I was chubby. They didn't see the things about myself that I was unhappy with. They just saw a colorful gal in costume, with a cool light-up sword, who they wanted to meet. We need to view ourselves with that amount of innocence and wonder. Pick out all of the things about ourselves that make us wonderful and keep those in the forefront of our minds.
I'm glad I ended up making myself do that, because I'm sick of letting my mindset fall into the victim realm with Hashimoto's. At the end of the day, I have an amazing human body. Our bodies are designed to do amazing things if we let them. So, I need to stop whining about the things I don't have control over, and start taking back control over what I DO have control over.
If you struggle with your view of yourself, I encourage you to start picking out at least one thing that you love about yourself daily. If you are going to start an exercise regime and a diet, make it because you love your body and you want it to function at it's best and live it's longest in great health. I encourage us all to stop putting ourselves down and start loving ourselves once more.
Onward and upward in my Autoimmune journey!