New Year! New Blog!

Shola Speaks! is my new blogging home. If you’ve been keeping up with my posts, you should have figured out by now that I wasn’t Finding my Chicago in Boston. I’m finding it in Chicago. Shola means blessed and it was a name given to me by someone I met at a festival up north.  Blessed... Read more »

"I Can't Date You! You're a Pisces!"

It never occurred to me that some men would cringe at the thought of my being born on March 16.  Apparently, they believe that my astrological sign paired with theirs is a reason to run the other way. I mean they look at me with dread when they hear I’m a Pisces. It’s happened to... Read more »

Babies! What if I Don't Want One?

It’s 4:00AM. My guy friend and his baby girl woke me up with a response to a text I sent earlier.  “Just saw your text, we are well and your niece is making me not sleep,” he wrote back. Too many times I’ve heard of the zombie days that come with having a new born... Read more »
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Interracial Dating: My First Time Dating a White Guy

Dating can be a strange phenomenon for me sometimes. It’s not always clear how to interpret the signals, when to pull back or dive into getting to know someone, who on the surface, seems like a good match. For various reasons, I’ve always thought dating interracially would be even more complicated. I went on my... Read more »

All the single men...All the single men...

“You deserve better and that’s what you desire…” These words are part of a text I got from a guy I was really digging and I thought was digging me back. We met on a Friday night at a lounge. Our conversation was easy, unpretentious. It was like he and I were the only ones... Read more »

How Chicago Gang Violence Affects my Fashion Sense

Anyone who knows me  well is aware of my love of fashion. Some days I think I should have studied it rather than earning a master’s degree in social work. I love love love fashion even though I can’t afford much of it right now.  I often think I would be in a better position... Read more »

Single woman/Married man

“You have nothing to worry about,” he kept saying to reassure me that we could go on to be friends or something more. I had no idea that he was married when he gave me his number that Saturday night. He wasn’t wearing a ring and gave off a vibe that he was single. He was... Read more »

"Ain't Nobody Better Than You!"

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In challenging myself to reach greater social, economic and spiritual heights, I’ve decided to contact  10 well known people I find powerful, encouraging and wise. I believe that these people will be a part of my future social network. Yup! I really do believe this. The thought of reaching out to these 10 people  came... Read more »

"I Want My Hope to be Waterproof"

It doesn’t take much to knock me off of a path of happiness. And by happiness, I’m referring to a very fleeting state of feeling good in and about the world. I hate that rejection felt from a failed romantic relationship or a “No” from a prospective employer, turns my smile into a wretched frown.... Read more »

When you pray to die and God gives you a Tuesday: the other side of hope

I couldn’t get up from laying flat on the floor this morning. It’s what I do when I feel forgotten, confused, frustrated and directionless. It’s my way of extending the white flag to God, letting him know that I’m surrendering to whatever it is He’s doing in my life. I went from having a great... Read more »