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Dear Mommy...Please Don't Cry: A PANDAS Child's Plea.

Help me Mommy - by Susan Hughes 

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Help me Mommy, help me please

There's something in me no one sees

It's hidden in me, hidden well

To look at me, you can not tell

Others blame you for the things that I do

They think you don't spank me, if they only knew

 

Our days are not easy, and sometimes you cry

At bedtime we pray, and ask our Creator why?

I hit and I kick you Mom, when I get mad

And after I do it, I feel really sad

I want to stop, but I don't know how

I need to have patience, and I need it NOW!

My friends, they don't always understand

I explain I can't help it, but they think that I can

 

But I know that YOU love me, both you and Dad

Not only when I'm good, but when I'm bad!

Tourette syndrome, OCD, Strep, Autoimmune... that's the culprit to blame

 

I don't understand just how it came

It makes me do dumb things called "tics"

I wish it was something the doctor could fix!

 

I make booming sounds, spin everything, and I tug at my clothes

And make sure that I kiss you "twice" on the nose...

 

I even things up, and I'm compulsive, you know

Things have to "feel" right to me, be just exactly so.

 

I swear and I scream, and my shriek is so shrill

that you know when it's time for another pill

 

I'm hyperactive too I just can't be still

But I'll do better tomorrow Mom, I PROMISE I will!

 

I'll make my bed and I'll comb my hair

Brush my teeth?

 

Sure thing, Mom don't despair I'll be so good, Mommy, you will see

I promise that tomorrow, I'll be a much better me!

 

Hit my sister? Nope, NEVER again

We'll play Nintendo together I'll even let HER win.

 

My teacher; she'll be happy too

when she sees all the things I'm gonna do

I'll pay attention in class, and sit up straight

 

I'll come in when the bell rings, and not be late

 

Keep my hands to myself, and be sure not to giggle

 

I'll be quiet as a mouse, and try hard not to wiggle

 

I'll be good on the playground, not push, shove or run

 

I'll take turns playing tetherball, and have lots of fun

 

"onion" notes? - no more of those for me... A "regular" kid - that's what I'll be

That "regular" kid? He's inside me somewhere

 

I can be him someday, with your love and care

If others would only just give me a chance

Not criticize, judge me, or throw darts with a glance

 

Not ridicule, laugh, or show faces of scorn

But know I can't help the way I was born!

Just accept it that all of us cannot be

programmed to act just perfectly

Please help me Mommy, help me to show

Tourettes/PANDAS/ASpergers/Autism is an illness then others will know

 

If they would only take time to see

There's a whole lot of wonderful; GOOD inside me!!

 

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