Motivated by my own lies

A Lie. Let me tell you a little about a lie I told recently...

I was in a meeting with a bunch of big wigs at my company yesterday. I had been nominated for a leadership development program the company offers, and we were having a kick-off meeting for all that were nominated for the program. It was explained how there was a rigorous nomination process and screening before anyone was invited to attend, and there were several meetings to discuss candidates strengths and weaknesses. I guess the senior leadership at the company thinks this program is a pretty big deal.

I was very overwhelmed to be sitting in a room of people who were telling me that they were ready to teach me how to be their successor. I was impressed at the opportunity. What better way to advance my career in any department at the company than to be trained by the people holding the very jobs I would eventually have?!

I was quite awed yesterday during the meeting. After a couple of speeches and an explanation of what/why we were a part of this program, we had to do an introduction exercise. "Hi. My Name is.." yeah... I hate those.

I was sitting at the opposite end of the room thinking, "Great. Now I have plenty of time to sit and think about the 'fun fact' I am going to have to share." About 6 people in, someone had my answer, "I like to bake. If you ever want cupcakes, come to my office, there's usually some there."

Shit. Now how was I going to be interesting? I didn't want to talk about my "whole foods" diet while everyone was chowing down on their company-provided sandwiches. I didn't want to echo someone else's thoughts, especially after another member said, "Oh yeah I've had her cupcakes, their delicious."

Nobody had my cupcakes to know whether my things were delicious. Actually I have only brought things into work a couple of times, so I was not living up to the reputation that I was about to claim. I wasn't going to claim to be a baker, or even a good cook, if I hadn't been able to prove it. (Yes, I see that I was avoiding an almost true lie for a lie that was a lot less true, but that's not the point... the point is someone took my almost true lie before I could say it.)

So now it's almost my turn and I'm not interesting... craaappppppp.

"Hi. My name is Amy and I have worked for the company for a little over a year now. A fun fact about me is.. I will be running a half marathon in June, with hopes to start training for the Chicago Marathon next."

What. The. F*ck. Yes, it's true, in June I am registered for a half marathon... I was actually registered for the Rock N Sole half marathon last year, but then I hurt my back and had to defer my registration to this year. I have not started training for it, and thought very little of it until after I told this lie. And where the hell did I come up with "I want to train for the Chicago Marathon"???? When did I ever want to do that???

So... It was out there... I'm fat and I want to run a marathon.

After the meeting, as everyone was mingling and walking out of the meeting room, several people approached me asking about my training and what motivated me to do it. What am I going to do when it comes to my month of 13 hour shifts? How long have I been interested in running? Have I run other races before?

Yeesh. Scary. So now I have to figure out how I am going to run a half marathon. Which has really been a problem for over a year now... since I registered for the damned thing... and I'm going to have to really decide if I want to run a marathon. Obviously, it won't be this year. I don't know how I would go from 0 to Marathon in time... or that I would even want to. Running training plans take dedication and consistency... I've never been good at that. Not even close.

The odd thing is... I'm pretty motivated. I started thinking after the meeting about how I really could train for my half marathon. It's not unthinkable that I could be ready by June if I started now...

Maybe my lie could be true..

This admission to a lie is a part of ChicagoNow's Blogapalooz-Hour. I was given the task of writing about a time I told a lie.

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