I think my scale is broken and it's making me look bad at my new job

So I started a new job this week. It has been quite an experience. I am a waste chemist in a highly regulated environment. The jump was pretty severe from my last job to the new one. I was a chemistry technician (entry level, low pay, grunt work) last week, now I'm a chemistry manager in charge of waste for an entire facility. Kinda crazy... and I'm lost in my first week (though that's expected, I have an overwhelming amount of regulations and procedures to read). My hours are also different, so I've been super duper tired all week. Despite wanting to sleep for about 3 months straight, I was up at 4:45 on this fine Saturday morning. I laid in bed tossing and turning (on top of a toddler that I didn't realize was in there until I rolled atop him and he screamed). Then decided to get up and face the day... even though it was still dark-ish. I screwed around trying desperately not to make too much noise, heaven forbid I wake up my little guy at 5 a.m. and have to deal with HIS sleep deprivation issues.

Anyway, that's a little about why I haven't been too active on writing... I have the ambition to write a lot more, I have a list of blog ideas I haven't gotten to yet, but I have to settle into my schedule before I get into other fun post.

I guess the subject of the blog is about me looking bad at my new job because my scale is broken... so on to that.

I got on my scale a few times over the last few weeks, and I wasn't happy with what I saw... and the number keeps getting bigger! I promised myself I would never see certain weights again, and I've since blown by those barriers by about 20-25 pounds... so that 60 some odd pounds I was down in January of last year is obliterated... but I PROMISED myself that I would never get this fat again. How can someone break a promise to themselves??? And how can I "watch my weight" and just sit by and watch the scale go UP 40 lbs without doing anything about it?! I'm upset with myself, to say the least...

Unless my scale is broken. Which can be the only explanation. I wouldn't gain almost all my weight back. How can you run/swim/bike 400K and lose 60 pounds only to gain it back without even thinking about it.

How is this making me look bad? Well, 40 pounds is a lot. It's like 2 sizes... and I bought a new wardrobe when I was 60 pounds down... I don't have a whole lot of fat clothes anymore... so I put on clothes that I'm sure will be okay and professional, and they're tight. Ugh. So I go into my new management position looking super fat. Awesome.

I did bring salads as my lunches to my new job :) That's an improvement, I guess. Except I come home and eat a whole medium pizza/chinese buffet/mexican food/other random takeout... Because I'm lazy I am totally sabotaging my progress.

Well, I've had a week to get used to my schedule... which has clearly been enough to get me up on a sleep-in Saturday within a half an hour of when I should be up on a work day... I am going to start making some changes next week... like not eating out. I am going to bring a healthy lunch to work and not eat out at all. Period. (I am not counting my friend's wedding next Friday as eating out... I can't help that). We'll see what that does.

I also have a date tonight. I didn't want to have a date until I was un-fat, but it's a blind date, so I don't have the highest of expectations. We'll see how it goes. He's got a very inaccurate depiction of what I look like since the pictures he saw of me were from when I was standing up in my best friend's wedding and had my hair done professionally and my make-up was perfect. I haven't even seen his picture... but whatever. We'll see what happens :)

Of course, when I say I am not eating out... I mean starting Monday... you can't start on a day other than Monday ;)

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment