Things that have been said to me in my time as a bouncer

From 2005-2011, I worked in the bar industry. I was a bouncer, doorguy, and an asshole on a power trip, whatever you want to call it. I can’t change your mind about how you may feel about people like me. Hell, I won’t even try.  During my years of being a doorguy, I have had the unfortunate task of telling hipsters,gangbangers,and other classy people something that they do not hear often: The word no.

Now here are some of the things that have been said to me in my time at the door:

“C’mon brother! You know how it is.”

“But you let those white girls in.”

“Man you a uncle tom ass nigga!” Sidenote: The guy said this to me was white. He was a not so Slim Shady type.

“Do you know where I can get some coke?”

“I didn’t know you couldn’t smoke weed in here.”

“Clean up after them white folks house nigga!”

"Sieg Heil! Sidenote: The guy who said this me was Mexican.

“Please don’t kick my ass.”

“Can you let me and six of my friends in?” Sidenote: That was from a guy I went to high school with.

“I’m a come back and shoot this muthafucka up!”

“Do you know who I am?”

“Hey fag! Boys Town is that way.”

“I’ll have you fired!”

“Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Cee-Lo Green?”

“Can you tell this guy that I’m not interested?”

“Can you tell the DJ to play some Rolling Stones?” Sidenote: It was hip-hop night.

Leave a comment