I just turned 37 this month and the pressure is on! If I want to get married and have kids soon there is no time like the present to start looking for a wife and future mother of my beautiful children. In the meantime, I have enjoyed being single and the benefits this age allows. My parents, in their 60’s, are thrilled to watch their three sons grow in their careers and as men. My youngest brother is the only one to marry thus far and he and his wife are first in line for grandchildren. As we move closer to the addition of more family members, and the additional fanfare involved, we enjoyed a quiet holiday season this year.
Before you start a family, take a moment to enjoy the past and present, before you get too busy!
My parents are both 67 and my brother Matt and I accompanied them to Christmas Day mass on Sunday. That would have been a much larger production if I had a wife and kids in tow. It was nice to spend some time as adults, enjoying the holiday, without the demands of a young family. When you have a young family you have less time to engage in intelligent conversation, focus on your parents, and reminisce about good years past.
When I do get married and start a family we will collectively raise everyone’s blood pressure as we engage family and friends with our wonderful and overwhelming family. When we engage in launching a family, we put our personalities on the back burner and focus on the kids. Before this happens, and while we are young adults, we all have the opportunity to talk to mom and dad about where we are now and from where we have grown.
Growing up in a professional family means you have certain responsibilities to family and career. Meeting expectations is important and having the time to chat with moms and dads about progress and next steps is easy when you don’t have your own family in the room. Taking advantage of these opportunities while you’re still single is a privilege. When I engage in dialogue about the future I recognize my parents’ desire to gauge how my brothers and I are doing and how they react to us. It is so important to continue a dialogue about family member progress when so many people are invested in success.
I know my parents consider me a great “success,” but I know my wedding and first born child are the real benchmarks on which my mother and father want to hang their hat. The older I am and the further I embrace my career goals, the closer I am to making my own successful family. I hope when I am my parents’ age I will appreciate the contributions of my adult children who make their way in the world.
Enjoy your friends and family while you are young and before your time is earmarked for your personal family business. Before long you will be without time to really sit down and talk to your mom and dad about family history and progress.