What a wonderful photo from this year’s exciting and groundbreaking Techweek Chicago 2013. Yet again, the technology community is showing that men and women are equals. Objectification? Phooey. Sexism? Get over yourself. In fact, ladies, let’s admit it. This is what we want. We’re asking for it! We want to be judged by how we look. We purposely try to lure men into our buxumous cleavage and then convince them, as we shake our lactators back and forth, that we might even have brains upstairs in case they're needed. Go, Vaginas!
Truth be told, I always wear bikinis when I go to tech conferences, even in the winter. I find it’s just so much more comfortable talking about diversity, gender inclusion and the latest advances for women in technology as I pick the never-ending wedgie I get while walking from session to session. If I get chilly, no worries, I just drape a Techweek Chicago banner over my greased up body. Or, I simply ask a strong, sexy, male attendee to cover me with the big muscles I see oozing out of the stringy Harry Potter t-shirt he’s been wearing nonstop for the last decade.
Ironically, that photo does indeed represent one accurate truth: women in technology feel tremendous pressure to be the smartest, the prettiest and the most well-liked in the room. While scruffy boy/men scuttle around on their little scooters – you know, the ones you see spunky four year olds using at the playground – women in technology work our asses off to look fantastic. Because we worry that being smart and talented is not enough.
And these days, we have another scourge to deal with, which is other women. We compete savagely with each other. We tear each other down. We can't even agree that a photo like this is offensive and inappropriate. C'mon, Ladies, it’s just a photo. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. Understand the context. Can’t you take a joke? Don't compare this to Hackers and Hookers or Titstare - it's totally different!
In technology these days, it’s a girl eat girl world. And a guy eat girl world. Can I get a sweater?
Techweek Chicago will be held next year on June 26-28, 2014, which as we all know is perfect bikini weather. Fellow Humans with Breasts, this gives us just enough time to starve ourselves into shape, get all the guys to want us and all the women to hate us and, oh, maybe make a difference in the technology industry. Get your tickets now, and let’s get shopping. Hmmm…. Does this thong make my digital marketing skills look fat?
I got the Techweek Chicago photo here.
Update 11/12/13 at 8:30 PM Central Time: The photo has since been removed from Instagram and the Techweek website. Before taking it down, however, Techweek Chicago responded to the criticism by saying "We assure you that all the models in the show are over 18 years of age." Way to keep it classy, Techweek Chicago.
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