Last Wednesday, three 30-something married heterosexual women, all moms, set out on a mission to go where no mom had gone before. Well, maybe some had but not many, I can guarantee you that.
Meeting the challenge before us would require mental tenacity, inner resolve, and perhaps some very good lubrication. The goal? To have intercourse three times, with our husbands, in one week. Not one month. Not one year. Seven days.
I knew it would be hard. I knew I’d have to tap deep into my own mental and physical reserves. But I had no idea I’d also come down with the worst stomach bug of my life. Within 48 hours, I’d taken 15 painful trips to the bathroom and eaten only three pieces of toast. But I wasn’t giving up on this challenge, dammit. I'm no quitter. (Translation: I'm way too competitive for my own good).
So on Friday night I took a shower, a long one, and said let’s go. Hubby happily obliged. One down. Whew. Then Sunday evening came and, to keep pace, I did something I’d never done before. And I mean never. I had (gasp!) makeup sex.
Maybe it’s not a big deal for you, but I’ve never had makeup sex before. EVER. Typically, in my little world, I need a peace treaty signed before I let hubby back into the fold. But because time was a-ticking, I had to get over whatever he’d done – something so egregious I can’t even remember it now – for a romp in the hay. If two days ago I could have sex after squeezing every last bit of juice out of my small intestine, I could have makeup sex, dammit. So I did. And you know what? It was fantastic.
Two down, one to go. I was sweating, and not only because the world’s most disgusting stomach bug had been replaced by a horrible alien that had invaded my chest and caused my eardrums to feel like they were about to burst. Sick again, this time with upper respiratory and ear infections. Dammit.
Before I knew it, Tuesday night arrived, and it was our last opportunity to make good. Hubby decided to go see Lincoln, which began at 7:20 pm and wouldn’t end until after 9:00 pm. To keep myself awake, I watched the Real Housewives (Why else would I watch the Real Housewives? ahem). He got home. We gave it whirl. It worked. I was victorious.
A day later, I checked in with my pals, and they too had triumphantly crossed the sex finish line. We felt proud, humbled, and in awe of our mad skills. We couldn't believe that all it took was a little friendly competition, a slightly immature bet, to jump start our sex drives.
Though each of our experiences were different, I noticed a few commonalities. First is that sexpectations – the stress you feel over not being able to meet your partner’s physical needs – totally sucks the life out of your libido. But you can get past it. In the moments that I did, I was able to ask myself a scary question that I'm still not quite sure how to answer: is the pressure to have sex coming from him, or is it me searching for something to feel guilty/bad/inferior/ inadequate about?
The second realization is how much we miss talking sex with our friends, the way we used to do before we got married. Why the heck did those conversations stop? Please tell me it's not because sex should stay private. Something that is such an essential part of our happiness should not be so taboo that we have to hide it or be embarrassed to talk about it. We have kids. There is sex happening. The jig is up.
Want to know the best part of the Mom Sex Challenge? How we discovered, or shall I say rediscovered, the joy of sex. And that, my friends, delights the crap out of me. And, dare I say it, makes me hungry for more.
So my friends and I are giving it another go, and this time you should join us. C’mon. Live a little. Our mission this week: Sex, three times by next Friday, but there's a catch. This time, we have to do something we’ve never done before. It can be a new fantasy, a new toy, a new position, whatever we want. But it has to be novel. New. Different. And legal. No need to get ourselves arrested.
Are you up for your mission, Ladies? Are you Mom enough for this next sex challenge?
[Photo Credit: Simon Howden/ /FreeDigitalPhotos.net]
Here's the first post about Moms and the sex challenge.
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