Moms, it’s time we talked about the crisis in our lives. No, it’s not the one happening in our schools. It’s taking place right at home, in our very own bedrooms, and it requires a swift course of action. The predicament? Our sex lives suck, and not in the good way. The solution? Bedroom Chemist, a sexy little service that’s about to rock your world.
When it comes to moms and sex, here's what I'm hearing: moms are having sex out of obligation, not desire, and their libidos are in the toilet. The sexual batteries that made them feel like head-turning energizer bunnies in their 20s are just about dead. They're having sex three or four times a month, maybe. And that’s not all. Oral sex is just not happening. They're embarrassed of their bodies and of how their vaginas look, smell, and feel. They have no interest in giving hand jobs or blow jobs. "Get it in, get it out, let’s get it over with already." That’s the motto for many moms, especially those with young kids.
We know the reasons: fatigue, sexpectations, pressure, boredom. It's also the mundane realities of long-term relationships. Is it even humanly possible to be in the mood for sex after hearing your partner strain for 30 minutes to empty his bowels? Most moms would agree: a woman’s erotic life after years of marriage and kids is about as sexy as six loads of laundry.
But it can get better. You know why? Because we deserve better. Sex should make us feel powerful. It should keep us playful and help us relax. We should want sex over that Skinny Cow ice cream, Real Housewives of New Jersey repeat, 50 Shades book, or Facebook gawk session. Call me crazy, but I think we should be having sex that is at times passionate, fun, cozy, tender, angry, forgiving, adventurous and exciting. We should hunger for sex even on days with work, kids, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, traffic, and impending (insert gasp here) visits from the in-laws.
That’s why I’ve “hooked up,” so to speak, with a company called the Bedroom Chemist, and holy shitballs it’s amazing. Every six weeks, they send a package in the mail with treats, toys, tips, games, and lube that are specifically designed to help women feel sexy and empowered. The two moms who started Bedroom Chemist understand that, for women, having a healthy, happy sex life is not only about intercourse; it’s about EVERYTHING. It’s about romance, silliness, adventure, gentle and not-so-gentle touch, and tingles that start at our tippy toes. It’s about intimate exploration and reconnection, to ourselves and to our partners. My favorite part of Bedroom Chemist is how it reminds us that we can and should feel sexy after having kids.
Let me give you a little taste of their products by telling you what's in my first kit. They break the products down into three sections: desire, foreplay and passion. So there's Flower Balm lube for fab sensations all over, an Ono Pleasure massage candle that makes your skin yummy and soft, and a bcute curve massager with arcs and and bends in all the right places. Bedroom Chemist's items are hand-picked with a woman's pleasure in mind and come with cute and helpful descriptions so I won't set fire to my house. I happen to love the quick games. My first kit included Fetish 5, Sensory Slots, and Math Misbehaving. It’s all super fun, very low pressure, and so sexy.
Possibly the best reason to try Bedroom Chemist? It’s about more than you. I want you to try this service because when you have orgasms you are a happier person, and when you are a happy person the world is a better place. Do an experiment tonight. Tell your partner to give you oral pleasure, just like the good old days. Take a shower beforehand if you’re worried about smell. Now have lots and lots of orgasms. I can guarantee that the next day, when someone cuts you off in traffic, you will not flip that person the bird and yell obscenities in front of your young children. You will sigh patiently, feel sad that the other person did not have the orgasms you had last night, and go on your merry way.
I know that even the thought of a night of passion might make you squirm, since your beloved hasn’t gone downtown since Obama’s inauguration. These days, you may even prefer the orgasms you get through self-stimulation. Or maybe going downtown is already part of the routine, something your partner does just about every single time. Yawn. Time to shake things up, ladies. Time to take matters into our own hands in a way that carves out just enough cozy room for our partners.
Who should try Bedroom Chemist? Anyone who used to feel sexy, feels sexy, or wants to feel sexy again, and anyone who wants to receive fab products for 30% below retail price. It’s seriously a no-brainer. Take the first step, please, so you don't tell me over chocolate cake at a kid's birthday party that your hubby says his penis is going to fall off from lack of use (yes, that happened recently). Remember that sexual goddess? She's still there, I promise. She just needs a little bedroom chemistry to find her way out again. And when she does, she – and her orgasms – will be glorious.
I snagged us a deal. Get 10% off of your first order with the code BC10.
~By Wendy Widom, Families in the Loop
* Full disclosure: Bedroom Chemist is a client of Families in the Loop. I love them and think you will, too.