Archive for August 2012

Squeeze Me Maybe (A Riff on Carly Rae Jepson's "Call Me Maybe")

Went to the store for a while Looking for something with style Hopin’ to suck in the rolls That now are in my way   I’d trade my mush for a wish Spanx or a bra with some squish I was so lookin’ for this To get them out of my way   My shape was holdin’... Read more »

"Boys Will Be Boys" is a Load of Crap

"Boys Will Be Boys" is a Load of Crap
I’ve been to three kids’ events recently and the same thing has happened at each: the boys have been totally out of control. I’ll give you an example: at a birthday party, I watched in shock as a six-year-old boy happily shoved, punched, slammed, and pulverized the children around him while his mom chatted breezily... Read more »

August's Scary Skinny List

After seeing one too many starving-actress-celebrities this summer, I have no choice but to bring back the Scary Skinny List. Why? Because someone needs to state the obvious, which is that these women look emaciated. And since their teeny tiny bodies have become the standard by which many of us measure ourselves, I’m going to be... Read more »
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Mamas and Beauty: Why Do We Judge So Harshly?

Mamas and Beauty: Why Do We Judge So Harshly?
Do you remember high school homecoming games? I do. Every December, with the crisp smell of late autumn in the air, the past year’s graduating class would reunite at the football stadium, and I would head over to evaluate who among the gals had cut their hair (super cool) and who had gained the dreaded... Read more »

Moms and Spanx: This Means War

Moms and Spanx: This Means War
I got an urgent, almost desperate, call from an old friend yesterday, a mom of a toddler who has read about my ongoing struggles to simultaneously eradicate and make peace with my enemies, more generally known as the muffin tops. The stress in her voice was palpable. “Wendy,” she said, “I need your help. Tell... Read more »

Chad (Ochocinco) Johnson: When Abuse Hits Home

Chad (Ochocinco) Johnson: When Abuse Hits Home
I’m more than slightly embarrassed to admit I’ve watched the show Basketball Wives here and there while battling boredom on the gym treadmill. That’s where I first saw Evelyn Lozada, a beautiful and hotheaded bombshell from Miami who fell in love with the professional football player, Chad Johnson. I know Chad Johnson from his showboating... Read more »
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My Baby Girl is Leaving... For Kindergarten

My Baby Girl is Leaving... For Kindergarten
Boy, does time fly. It seems like just yesterday my daughter was a wee little girl, happily frolicking with her friends on the swings at Astor Park. Now, in what seems like the blink of an eye, she’s about to go off and start a new and independent phase of her life, one in which... Read more »

Sex & the Married Mom

Oh, what a week!  I appeared on HuffPost Live not once but twice since Tuesday, and I have a new piece out today on the hottest lifestyle website for women, Cheeky Chicago, about married sex. Put a fork in me, friends, ’cause I’m just about kaputski. Here’s a snippet of the article, which is all about the... Read more »

Mom Confessions: I Feel Old

Mom Confessions: I Feel Old
I felt old yesterday, a rare occurrence, even though I’ll be turning 39 later this year. My clash with reality took place at Vidal Sassoon, where an absolutely stunning 22-year-old stood behind me with her hands resting gently on my shoulders, poised to give my raggedy hair a desperately needed trim. Dressed in a style I’ll call... Read more »
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Why Can't Married Men and Women Be Friends?

Why Can't Married Men and Women Be Friends?
Remember what it was like when you fell madly and deeply in love? I do. It happened to me a decade ago, when hubby and I started dating. For months, I wanted nothing more than to spend every single second with him. I wanted to stare at him while he slept and gaze at him... Read more »